When a divorce
happens children need their
grandparents more than ever
By Margo MacPhail
Monday, September 25, 2006
About
60 percent of divorces
involve children. Today,
only a little more than six
out of every ten children
still live with both their
biological parents. The
nuclear family, consisting
of mom and dad and the
average of 2.4 children
living under one roof, is
rapidly becoming an American
myth.
The divorce of one’s
parents, and the
restructuring of the family
that follows, is one of the
most painful experiences for
children.
Children view their
family as the center of
their lives. The breakdown
of that family unit is
proven to be a traumatic
event in the life of a
child, however parents and
grandparents do have the
ability to diminish the
distress a child suffers and
can significantly help
prevent long-lasting
emotional wounds.
What can you do to help
your grandchildren get
through these difficult
events?
Maintain stability,
continuity, and establish
the opportunity for your
grandchildren to not only
continue but strengthen
their family relationships
during this especially
necessary time.
Grandchildren are the next
generation of a long line of
family, and time spent
together with grandparents
are moments in time which
unlock keys to the past of
the family legacy.
During divorce,
stability and family are
even more crucial for
children and these special
relationships should be
nourished and encouraged.
One day, children will be
grown adults. Knowing they
are part of a long line of
family history, personal
experiences and a childhood
filled with family
relationships to share with
their own children one day,
will not only help them in
their life’s journey in
discovering who they are but
moreover provides a family
connection during a time
when their family is
disconnecting.
Serve as a positive
distraction.
Grandparents become a
family’s first reserve in
time of crisis. Grandparents
act as fun playmates for
children, role models,
family historians, mentors,
help establish self-esteem
and security for children.
Moreover, the importance of
protecting a child’s best
interest during divorce,
separation, or a single
parent home, and the
importance of maintaining
relationships with
grandparents are so
profound, and so valuable,
that there are laws to
protect this sacred
relationship. Massachusetts
General Law Chapter 199,
Section 39D provides for
grandparents to have
visitation rights with their
grandchildren if the parents
are divorced, married but
living apart, under a
temporary order or judgment
of separate support.
Help to maintain your
grandchildren’s individual
interests. It will help
them have constructive
outlets to relieve stress
and build self-confidence,
(after school sports, drama
clubs, school newspaper,
etc.).
Encourage parents to
prioritize a generous,
regular visitation schedule
with the non-custodial
parent and also
incorporate regular and
frequent time for the
children to visit with both
sides of their extended
family. Spending time and
deepening relationships with
both sides of their family
is a most effective way to
limit the trauma of family
breakdown for children, and
also gives parents a break
as well.
Nourishing relationships
with grandparents are how
your grandchildren learn
that family does not end
with divorce, and that they
are an important link in a
long family chain that
stretches across
generations. Children never
divorce their family
relationships, and
grandparents do not divorce
grandchildren. The deeper
their roots, the stronger
and taller they grow.
A child of divorce,
today Margo MacPhail
is a professional children’s
advocate specializing in
this field, and the Founder
& Executive Director of KIDS
FIRST. Located on the South
Shore in Abington, KIDS
FIRST is a non-profit
organization dedicated to
help kids and parents
through the breakdown of
their family unit and the
redefinition of their family
for a healthy and successful
future.
www.kidsfirstonline.org.
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Margo
MacPhail is the
Founder & Executive
Director of KIDS
FIRST. |
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Prominent Leaders Criticize Family Law |
| |
| Monday, March 28 a second ACFC newspaper
advertisement ran in the Washington
Times National Weekly Edition.
The ad will be repeated next Monday,
April 4. |
| |
| This
ad is endorsed by some of the most eminent
and respected leaders in America. In
addition to the national officers of
ACFC, the following names appear on
the ad: |
| |
| - Phyllis
Schlafly, President, Eagle Forum |
| - Paul
Weyrich, Chairman and CEO, Free Congress
Foundation |
| - William
J. Murray, President, Religious Freedom
Coalition |
| - Dr.
Don Wildmon, President, American Family
Association |
| - Concerned
Women for America |
| - Michael
J. McManus, President, Marriage Savers |
| - Dr.
Allan Carlson, author, "Fractured
Generations" |
| - William
Greene, President, RightMarch |
| - Pacific
Justice Institute |
| - Urban
League of Northern Virginia |
| - Heather
Higgins, Chairman, The Independent
Women's Forum |
| - Dr.
Mark I. Klein, MD, board certified
psychiatrist |
| - Bryce
Christensen, Associate Professor,
Southern Utah University |
| - David
M. Wagner, Associate Professor, Regent
University School of Law |
| - John
Eisendrath, Executive Producer, ABC's
"Alias" |
| - Dr.
Warren Farrell, author, "Father
and Child Reunion" |
| - Glenn
Sacks, columnist and nationally-syndicated
radio talk show host |
| - David
Buchanan, author, "Gendercide
and Human Rights" |
| |
| These
names cannot be ignored.
These are eminent leaders who speak
to the President and members of Congress
on a regular basis. They head organizations
with hundreds of thousands of members
and followers |
| |
| These
leaders are sticking their necks out
for us. They sympathize with
our plight, support our efforts, and
are willing to back us further. It
is now up to us to act. These people
cannot fight our battle for us. We are
now on the national stage, and what
we do will be seen by the world. |
| |
| This
ad presents an inescapable choice to
elected officials: |
| |
| Either our
charges are without merit, in which
case why are they being endorsed by
leaders of this stature? Or our charges
are true, in which case a major national
scandal is being ignored by our elected
officials. Either way, it demands attention,
and that is all we are demanding: An
investigation into allegations of government
wrongdoing alleged by millions of American
citizens and a full report to the American
people. |
| |
| |
 |
Copy this ad and circulate
it to your elected officials and to
the media. |
| |
|
Solicit local endorsements, and run
the ad in your own local newspapers. |
| |
|
Some of the organizations listed above
have local affiliates. Contact
them and offer to create
a coalition for mutual support. |
| |
|
Go to
www.acfc.org
and make a
contribution in support of
these efforts. |
| |
|
Forward
this email to ten other people
who have been affected by the family
law system and ask them to consider
supporting the effort also. |
| |
| We have major
support among national leaders in Washington.
We have only to act and act responsibly,
and the door will swing open to us. |
| |
| These endorsements
demonstrate that we have now accumulated
perhaps the most valuable commodity
in politics: trust. These leaders trust
that we are telling the truth about
these abuses. They know our allegations
have not been refuted and cannot be
refuted. It has taken years to acquire
this trust, and it cannot easily be
built up again |
| |
| We
must now invest this "political
capital" or it is wasted. |
| |
Stephen Baskerville,
President
Michael McCormick, Executive Director
David Roberts, Chairman of the
Board |
| |
| +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ |
| |
| Children Need
BOTH Parents! |
| |
| The American
Coalition for Fathers and Children |
| |
For Membership information
call 1-800-978-DADS
or see ACFC's homepages at:
http://www.acfc.org |
| |
To
subscribe send a message to:
acfclist@acfc.org
Message
in subject line: subscribe acfc |
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To
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Message
in subject line: unsubscribe acfc |
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The
ACFC List Serve provides timely information
to fathers, second wives, and others
seeking restoration of fatherhood in
America and the world. ACFC does
not endorse or approve the views or
opinions expressed by contributors,
which have been provided only as a service
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