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Fathers and Families is a group that work on the legislative angel of non-custodial parents, 95% dads.  A membership is cheap and they provide lobbying, a newsletter and also a weekly list of weekend activities for dads and kids and various meetings. Check them out at: www.fathersandfamilies.org
 
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Fathers & Families News Digest June 9, 2005
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  March 15, 2005  
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Family Court Judge Spencer Kagan recently decided that a divorced husband's alimony payments to his ex-wife should have stopped after she remarried, and ordered her to repay him about $9,000 retroactively to the date of her remarriage.

But here's the catch: In their separation agreement, the parties had specifically deleted a provision stating that the wife's alimony would cease upon cohabitation or remarriage.

One might argue that at last a family court judge gave a father a break, and that, after all, why should he have to keep paying alimony once she was financially secure.

But my personal take is different. Family Court judges must stop interfering in our lives except when absolutely necessary. These two people were adults, and had lawyers to advise them when they made their agreement. Where does the court get the power to blithely dump a legal agreement in favor of a solution that happens to be what the judge personally thinks is fair? If judges can do this whenever they want, we are stripped of the power to arrange our own lives as we see fit. And there can be no finality, since a judge can always reopen the matter you thought was closed to impose his/her own opinions on your life.

The excessive power of the judges is exactly the root of the problems we now face in court. The same mentality is at work when a judge decides, with no scientific evidence, that one person is a better parent and ought to be the custodial parent; while the other parent can only be a "visitor." And it is at work when the courts tell divorced people, but not married people, how much we must spend on our children, instead of leaving it to our love and judgment; or that we must send them to college even if in all good faith we believe they are not ready, or would do better in another path.

Family court judges are now micromanaging people's lives, not according to written law, but according to their personal prejudices. They must stop doing so, and save their powers for cases of abandonment, neglect, abuse, or serious lapses of judgment.
 
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Best Regards,


Ned Holstein, M.D., M.S.
Fathers & Families

phone: (617) 542-9300
 
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