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New
Column: The Rise in 'Gray Divorce':
It's Always Hubby's Fault |
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| February
2, 2006 |
| |
New
Column: The Rise in 'Gray
Divorce': It's Always Hubby's
Fault
My latest
co-authored column,
The Rise in 'Gray Divorce':
It's Always Hubby's Fault
(Cincinnati Post, Kentucky
Post, 1/30/06), discusses
the way men are unfairly made
to shoulder almost all blame
for marital breakups, regardless
of the circumstances. Family
law attorney Jeff Leving and
I wrote:
"In
both the United States and
Japan, divorce among older
couples is on the rise. The
American Association of Retired
Persons detailed the phenomenon
among American seniors in
a study last year, and Japan's
wave of gray divorce is expected
to swell into a deluge, since
Japanese women will soon be
legally able to claim half
of their husbands' retirement
pensions.
"There
are various explanations for
the trend but media commentators
agree on one thing--when the
husband divorces his wife,
it's hubby's fault. When the
wife divorces her husband,
well, it's hubby's fault too."
If you
have an opinion about the
column or this issue, you
can write a Letter to the
Editor about "Gray Divorce:
Men Must Be Wrong" by
clicking here.
I've discussed
these types of anti-male double
standards and the way we ignore
men's many valuable contributions
to their families. For more,
see:
Also, listen to the
His Side shows:
PBS Campaign: Holstein Debates
Meier on NPR's Justice
Talking
Ned Holstein
of
Fathers & Families,
one of the leaders of the
PBS campaign, recently
debated Joan Meier of George
Washington University Law
School, one of the lead commentators
in
Breaking the Silence: Children's
Stories. Ned did well,
though I would have liked
to have heard a lot more from
him and less from some of
the others. The show can be
heard at
The Tug of War Over Children.
|
Introducing Leving's Divorce
Magazine
Family law attorney Jeff
Leving has just introduced
Leving's Divorce Magazine
to provide challenging and
compelling content for the
modern divorced man.
The Second Wives Club
The Second Wives Club is
what women in blended families
are looking for. Remarriage,
divorce, child custody,
and step parenting discussed
in a solution-oriented,
mature, and intelligent
way; articles and news written
by thought provoking experts
and journalists; personal
accounts and advice from
some of life's most interesting
women.
www.SecondWivesClub.com
Comeback Dads
The new book Comeback
Dads shows how family
courts rob children of their
dads and proposes a revised
Shared Parenting Bill.
ComebackDads.com
|
Major Network Drops Domestic
Violence Show
Some
good news from Ned Holstein
of
Fathers & Families,
one of the leaders of the
campaign against PBS's
Breaking the Silence: Children's
Stories:
"Some
pessimists believe that
our battle against PBS'
airing of
Breaking the Silence,
an unbalanced piece of anti-father
propaganda, was at best
a tie. After all, the film
was aired hundreds of times
around the country. There
have been private screenings
for judges and legislators.
And despite the findings
of its own ombudsman, PBS
has stonewalled, still claiming
that the film is sound.
"The
pessimists miss the larger
picture: that you can only
judge victory or defeat
by what comes next. For
the first time we stopped
a respected media outlet
in its tracks, forced it
to reassess its production,
and caused it to commission
a new film this spring.
"Now comes this news:
a major network has dropped
plans to produce a similar
domestic violence segment
on a major 60 Minutes-type
show it airs, even though
it has a sensational and
tragic 911 audiotape of
a terrified woman hiding
in a closet as her ex-husband
breaks into the house, searches
for her and shoots her.
(Something this awful deserves
to be aired, but not in
a format that tars all divorced
men or misrepresents what
the police and courts are
actually doing.)
"This had all the earmarks
of another hack job. The
producer had asked Lundy
Bancroft, one of the domestic
violence extremists who
is featured in
Breaking the Silence,
for stories of police who
were unwilling to enforce
a restraining order, and
of judges who were dismissive
of a woman's complaints.
A woman who is sympathetic
to fathers' organizations
approached the producer
with a true domestic violence
horror story, who was very
interested until he found
out the victim was a man,
at which point he dropped
the matter. It didn't look
good.
"Mark Rosenthal and
I called the producer two
months ago to discuss his
plans for the segment, and
to try to educate him about
the complexities of the
subject beyond a simplistic
'man bad, woman victim'
formulation. To the producer's
credit, he was willing to
engage in a conversation,
but it was hard to believe
we had changed his mind
or that he could resist
airing the dramatic 911
tape.
"Now we hear that no
such segment is in preparation.
Is this guaranteed true?
Will it be produced later?
Did our offensive against
PBS cause this? We don't
know, but it is hard to
believe that the well-publicized
uproar about
Breaking the Silence
that you created with your
letters and emails had nothing
to do with it.
"I call that a victory."
Ned Holstein, M.D., M.S.
Fathers & Families
nedholstein@fathersandfamilies.org
|
Help, Resources for Dads
The
National Fathers' Resource
Center is a division
of
Fathers For Equal Rights,
Inc. (FER), located
in Dallas, Texas, with offices
in both Dallas and Houston.
In existence for over three
decades, it has services
and resources for dads nationwide
and is one of the largest
and most active fathers'
rights organizations in
the U.S.
www.fathers4kids.org
Tired of the Rat-Race?
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You can watch or be one
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control of your financial
future. Get home, stay home
and do more of the things
you want! |
Some Vindication for Boy
Advocates
My longtime
readers know that I (and
others) have been screaming
about the boy crisis in
education for years. I'm
a former teacher and I've
written numerous columns
on the issue. My biggest
gripe is the way our school
system absolutely refuses
to meet boys where they
are. The result is what
I call "Boys' Fall
from Eden"--they go
from preschool, where their
boyish energy is (usually)
accommodated, into kindergarten
where they are "bad"
if they can't sit still
for long periods of time
the way the girls can. In
my column
Start of School Very Different
for Parents of Boys, Parents
of Girls (Albuquerque
Journal, 9/10/04) I
wrote:
"The
educational establishment
has reacted to the boy crisis
in education in a way reminiscent
of Bertolt Brecht's famous
poem about calls to reform
or dissolve the unpopular
government of East Germany:
the government found it
difficult to reform itself,
so would instead choose
to 'dissolve the people
and elect another.'
"Similarly,
rather than reform a system
woefully out of touch with
boys' real world natures
and needs, our schools find
it easier to demand that
boys be something other
than boys."
The boy
crisis was the biggest reason
we launched our
Campaign Against 'Boys are
Stupid' Products in
2003--to learn more, see
my column
Why I Launched the Campaign
Against 'Boys are Stupid'
Products (Los Angeles
Daily News, 2/4/04).
During
this period boy advocates
have often been opposed
by feminists who insist
that boys are doing just
fine because most CEOs are
male. Even researchers on
the subject were afraid
to accurately report their
own findings for fear of
being labeled anti-female.
I debated a couple researchers
on this in the Los Angeles
Times last year--see
my column
New Study of Youth Shows
It's
Boys Who Are in Crisis
(3/20/05).
Now,
however, the boy crisis
has no finally gone mainstream
with Newsweek's new
front page article
The Trouble With Boys
and the surrounding public
dialogue.
Glenn Discusses Boy
Crisis in Education on Air
America's Charles
Goyette Show (Audio
Available)
I discussed
the boy crisis in education
on the Charles Goyette
Show on Air America
KXXT AM 1010 in Phoenix,
Arizona on January 25, 2006.
To listen
to the interview, click
here--the interview
with me starts at 20:27.
|
DadsDivorce.com informs
fathers about their rights
during divorce litigation
while providing them with
concrete, practical resources
to get results in the courtroom.
DadsDivorce.com is a
popular meeting place for
fathers facing divorce.
BE THE FIRST TO KNOW
The Levine Breaking
News E-LERT is Hollywood's
premier Breaking News e-zine
sent every day to
approximately 100,000 "influencers."
Referred to as "part
CNN-part Variety-part Drudge
Report"--to sign up,
send an email to
MLasst@LCOonline.com. |
Outrage Funded by Your Tax
Dollars
We've
discussed before the way
domestic violence laws are
slanted sharply against
men. As I noted in my co-authored
column
Domestic Violence Lawsuit
Will Help Secure Services
for All Abuse Victims
(Los Angeles Daily Journal,
San Francisco Daily Journal,
12/28/05), "While
police intervention often
works for abused women,
abused men understandably
fear that once the police
are involved, their wives
will accuse them of being
the abuser and it is they
who will be believed. Draconian
arrest policies often direct
police to make an arrest,
and police are often pressured
to arrest the man."
Despite
this, a substantial percentage
of those arrested for domestic
violence are women. Feminists
mulishly insist that only
men abuse, so when women
are arrested they claim
it's only because--get this--violent
men are manipulating the
domestic violence system
and making false accusations.
Because women never abuse
and can never do wrong,
women who are arrested for
DV are called "victim-defendants."
A particularly
outrageous example of this
is a recent statement from
Jeff Rapkin, the staff attorney
for the
Center for Abuse and Rape
Emergencies of Charlotte
County. Rapkin is one
of the many anti-male domestic
violence "experts"
being funded by your tax
dollars. In the article
More male victims of domestic
violence are speaking up
(Charlotte Sun-Herald)
he is quoted as saying:
"Ninety-nine
percent of men who have
their wives arrested for
slapping or hitting them
are using the criminal justice
system and the threat of
arrest to make sure his
wife prepares the meatloaf
exactly the way he wants
it...Fifty percent of the
women I have talked to in
jail, who were arrested
for domestic abuse, did
not want me to argue for
a bond. They didn't want
to go home. They told me
they were at least free
from the abuse while in
jail....The only good thing
about police arresting the
women at domestic calls
is that it takes the women
out of the abusive home
for at least a night."
To write
a Letter to the Editor about
Rapkin's comments, click
here.
|
Female-to-English Dictionary
Dr. Shoveen goes behind
the words that women use
to reveal their hidden meanings
and thought processes.
Help for Boston Dads
Boston family law attorney
Nick Palermo is a shared
custody advocate who believes
that divorced dads are parents,
not visitors. The Law Offices
of Nicholas Palermo is a
dedicated and committed
trial law firm which has
worked to make shared custody
for all fit parents the
law of the land.
LAW OFFICES OF NICHOLAS
PALERMO |
And I Thought I Got
Nasty Mail...
Take
a look at some of the hate
mail Fox News commentator/columnist
Michelle Malkin receives
here. (Warning: foul
language). One example:
"You're
just a Manila whore shaking
your ass and waiting for
the Republican fleet to
come in, aren't you? You've
even got the lip gloss about
right. Maybe if you love
sailor long time, he bring
you home to big American
house? I don't think so.
Just like in Manila, Honey,
they'll pass you around..."
And another:
"Surely
you are a big put-on. Did
some minor Republican operative
purchase a mail-order bride
and train her to do this?"
And those
are the less repulsive letters.
Most of them were written
by men--what gentlemen...
|
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|
Good News for Italian Children
According
to
Joint custody to be Italian
norm:
"The
Italian Senate gave the
definitive green light Wednesday
to a new law that strengthens
the access and custody rights
of divorced fathers.
"The
legislation makes joint
custody of children the
norm when parents split
up. This means single-parent
custody - which usually
goes to the mother - will
now only be granted in a
minority of cases .
"'Finally,
both parents will have equal
rights and responsibilities
with respect to their children
when there is a separation,'
said Justice Undersecretary
Jole Santelli. 'And the
children will have the inalienable
right to maintain solid
relations with both the
mum and the dad.'"
Apparently
Italian feminists haven't
yet had a chance to explain
to Italian politicians that
most fathers are wife-beaters,
child molesters, and deadbeats
whose relationships with
their children merit neither
recognition nor protection.
The ironic part about feminist
misleadership is that for
the vast majority of women,
shared parenting is a good
deal. If and when mom gets
over her terminal vindictiveness,
shared arrangements mean
more freedom and less work.
Best of all, her sons have
a much better chance of
not ending up on drugs or
in jail...
|
|
An Interesting View of Female
Criminals from a Corrections
Officer
A corrections
officer saw my old column
Female Murderers Seen in
a Different Light: Society
Prefers to View Violent
Women as Victims (Pasadena
Star-News & Affiliated
Papers, 7/5/01) and
wrote me an interesting
letter:
"In
regards to your article
on this topic I feel I must
put in my two cents worth.
Being a former Corrections
Officer and having worked
as a counselor with abused
children I have to agree
with you as to how the media
perceives this issue and
also how the noted psychologists
that study these women see
it...
"[Today] all of these
so-called experts have come
up with a new name for every
condition that men and women
experience and to make it
sound like a large portion
of the world population
is a victim in one way or
another. We no longer need
to accept blame nor feel
guilt for any wrongdoing--we
just have to say we are
a victim and walk away.
I have heard that term used
so many times in the prison
system that it made me sick
of the term and immune to
it. Everyone was a victim
it was not their fault.
They blamed their family,
society, the boss at work,
a co-worker, their
wife or husband, and in
some case their children
or siblings. Not once did
I ever hear anyone say 'Yeah
I screwed up it was
my fault and I deserve to
be here.'
"I
have read numerous studies
on female criminals and
they all lead us down
the same path, they were
abused, they suffered from
severe PMS or PPD, they
did not have the skills
to deal with a child or
a relationship. I have had
female inmates say it was
not their fault, their husband/boyfriend
made them do it because
he always picked on them
for the way they did or
did not do things, therefore
they were psychologically
abused to the point of wanting
to kill...
"I have seen female
inmates that when you look
into their eyes there is
no life in them nor any
warmth of any kind, they
are cold and dark and at
times even I feared what
they could do if given the
chance. These women had
no heart or soul and they
cared for no one not even
themselves. So spare me,
the courts, and the taxpayers
the time and money on theories
and excuses and let the
punishment fit the crime."
|
|
Does Glenn Need Some 'Testicular
Fortitude'?
Apparently
not everybody enjoyed my
recent comments
here that "Over
the past three decades women
and feminists have locked
men into endless double-binds,
where whatever men do, they're
wrong. However, on a much
smaller scale, men's activists
have begun to lock women
into double binds, too."
One activist wrote:
"Let's
analyze the mutually self
serving arrangement. Feminists
like to be bi-sexual. They
can satisfy their hunger
for sex with a man or woman.
They conspire with the Machiavellian
corporate elite types to
take over America, enslave
as many men for profit as
possible, "capitalize"
upon created social policies
that facilitate "the
creation of the man criminal"
as they load us all up on
the train to Auschwitz.
Never fear--reproduction
is just a suave corporate
metro sexual away, and to
make it fun and exciting,
she'll have 2 or 3 of her
girlfriends join her. Then
they can be gold diggers
together.
"AGENDA
21 and the Feminist call
to exterminate mass numbers
of men reducing the overall
world population of males
down to 10%.
"Hey
the remaining guys won't
mind, that's 9 babes to
a guy, and all will be kings
with harems.
"Come
on Glenn, quit acting like
a faux men's commentator,
let the ladies know a good
man gets the door for them,
and show some TESTICULAR
FORTITUDE.
For Hitlery
Clinton's sake!"
|
|
Column: Letterman Case Shows
Problems with Restraining
Orders
My recent
co-authored column,
Letterman Case Shows Problems
with Restraining Orders
(Albuquerque Tribune,
1/17/06), explains the
way many men's lives are
being devastated by the
use of restraining orders
based on false or unsubstantiated
domestic violence claims.
The Letterman case is an
example of how readily these
orders are handed out. Family
law attorney Jeff Leving
and I wrote:
"A
Santa Fe, New Mexico judge
recently granted a temporary
restraining order against
TV talk show host David
Letterman for a woman who
alleges that Letterman--who
works in New York City and
whom she has never met--has
mentally harassed her through
his TV broadcasts. According
to Colleen Nestler, Letterman
has caused her 'mental cruelty'
and 'sleep deprivation'
for over a decade, and has
used code words and gestures
during his broadcasts to
show her that he wanted
to marry her and train her
as his co-host.
"The
woman, who also claims that
Letterman and fellow celebrities
Regis Philbin and Kelsey
Grammer have been conspiring
against her, requested that
Letterman stay away from
her, not 'think' of her,
and 'release [her] from
his mental harassment and
hammering.'
"Letterman's
attorneys were able to get
the order dropped, and the
judge--who apparently never
thought to suggest to Nestler
that she use the 'off' button
on her TV--has made good
fodder for gossip columns
and news of the bizarre.
However, the case also demonstrates
a much larger though rarely
discussed problem--it is
far too easy to get a restraining
order based on a false allegation."
To learn
more about problems with
restraining orders and the
domestic violence system,
see:
Also,
listen to the
His Side shows:
|
Legal Help for Fathers
If you live in Los Angeles,
Riverside or Orange counties
and you're facing a divorce,
separation, or a child custody
issue, the law firm of Oddenino
& Gaule can help. |
Girl Says Abuse Claims Were
Coerced by Mom During Custody
Fight
We've
discussed on many occasions
the terrible problem of
mothers using false charges
of child molestation against
fathers during custody fights.
The makers of Breaking
the Silence deny that
this problem exists, of
course. In my co-authored
column
PBS Declares War on Dads
(World Net Daily,
10/20/05) I wrote:
"Canadian
Senator Anne Cools, one
of the few public officials
in North America knowledgeable
about family law, calls
this tactic 'the heart of
darkness.' The accusations
are often used--very effectively--to
deprive fathers of a meaningful
role in their children's
lives after divorce or separation.
Reginald Brass, president
of My Child Says Daddy,
a parenting organization
which works with young African-American
fathers in Los Angeles,
says:
"'We
have many young fathers
who are fighting in the
courts to see their children
or to get joint custody
over a mother's hostility
or objections. If the man
has a daughter, we always
warn him that at some point
the mother will probably
accuse him of sexually molesting
his daughter. We see it
every day.'
"When
a father who has daughters
does succeed in getting
a desirable custody arrangement
over the objections of a
recalcitrant mother, it
is common practice among
family law attorneys to
advise the father that a
charge of sexual abuse may
be coming. According to
a study conducted by Douglas
J. Besharov and Lisa A.
Laumann and published in
Social Science and Modern
Society, the vast majority
of accusations of child
sexual abuse made during
custody battles are false,
unfounded or unsubstantiated.
"Cools,
a prominent feminist who
led Canada's battered women's
shelter movement during
the 1970s, explains:
"'There's
a plethora of cases where
the mother falsely accuses
the father of sexually abusing
the child. The accusation
is made in order to gain
advantage in custody disputes.
Governments are enormously
reluctant to look at it.
I've studied this extensively
and I've placed on the Canadian
Senate record 52 cases where
there was a finding that
the accusations were false,
and there are countless
more. Studies have shown
that under these circumstances
false accusations far outnumber
truthful ones.
"'It's
a terrible, terrible thing--for
the fathers and for the
children who've lost their
fathers. Some of those men
will never recover and they
have spent every penny left
to them to try to extricate
themselves. And I've seen
elderly parents who've spent
every dime of their retirement
to try to help their sons
get out of these horrible
situations.'"
As you
know, we extensively covered
the high-profile Bridget
Marks case, wherein a woman
who had been found by five
judges to have coached her
little girls to believe
that they had been sexually
molested by their father
was treated like a heroine
and a victim by the media.
(To learn more, click
here).
The following
ABC News article discuses
another nightmarish case--Texas
Girl Says Abuse Claims Were
Coerced by Mom: Cousins
Jailed for Molestations
She Now Claims Never Happened.
According to ABC:
"Sixteen-year-old
Stephanie Arena longs for
a normal girl's life, but
she is haunted by the fact
that she sent her teenage
cousins to prison for a
crime she now says they
didn't commit.
"The
sordid story began when
Stephanie, just 7 years
old at the time, was caught
in a bitter custody battle
between her parents, LaVonna
and Stephan Arena. Worried
that she'd lose her daughter,
LaVonna took Stephanie and
her brother from their home
in Texas to a Florida homeless
shelter. She then justified
the abduction by telling
social workers her kids
were being molested.
"Stephanie
now says her mother used
her as a tool to pry her
family apart and to get
her father to drop his custody
claim.
"'I
am responsible for putting
them in prison, and now
that I am older and I can
understand the consequences
of my actions, I need to
step up and do what I have
to [to] make things right'...
"Stephanie
has been trying to 'make
things right' since she
was 11, writing letters
of apology to both brothers
in prison.
"But
perhaps her bravest moment
came when she went public
with her story and returned
to court, two years after
accusing her cousins. She
faced the same judge and
prosecutor and told them
she had lied to them when
she said her cousins molested
her...
"It
appears, however, that LaVonna's
accusations are part of
a troubling pattern. Police
records and family testimony
suggest that on three different
occasions she has falsely
accused other family members
of abusing her kids, including
a charge against Stephanie's
father, Stephan Arena.
"I
believe it was in 2000 she
accused me and John and
Michael again -- while they
were incarcerated,"
he said.
"...[LaVonna's]
live-in boyfriend dropped
a bombshell, however, explaining
to 20/20 by phone that LaVonna
would like to tell the truth
and explain why she made
Stephanie lie. But, her
boyfriend said, 'LaVonna
is afraid she would go to
jail.'
"Stephanie
says it's that kind of attitude
that leaves her bitter."
One more
interesting point--they
write "Worried that
she'd lose her daughter,
LaVonna took Stephanie and
her brother from their home
in Texas to a Florida homeless
shelter. She then justified
the abduction by telling
social workers her kids
were being molested."
In other words, ABC is so
afraid of offending women
that they must immediately
include an excuse for this
woman's horrible crime--"worried
that she'd lose her daughter."
It's nonsense anyway, because
fit mothers rarely "lose"
their children (no, shared
custody is not "losing
your child"). And why
is it that when a father
loses custody and gets the
see your kid every other
weekend shaft, nobody says
he has "lost his kids"?
|
|
How Much Slack Does Jeff
Reardon Deserve?
From
One Very Wild Pitch: Did
drugs make a star hurler
rob a jewelry shop?
(Newsweek, 1/9/06).
"By
Christmas Day, Jeff Reardon
was a physical and emotional
wreck. The former star relief
pitcher was struggling through
a second holiday season
without his son Shane, who
died of a drug overdose
in 2004 and would have turned
22 last Thursday. 'I miss
you more than ever,' Reardon
wrote in a November entry
to a Web memorial for Shane.
To help numb the pain, Reardon,
50, was taking at least
five antidepressants, his
lawyer says. That was on
top of four or five heart
medications he was prescribed
after an angioplasty operation
on Dec. 23.
"The
day after Christmas, Reardon
went to a nearby mall in
Palm Beach Gardens, Fla.
Though he told his wife
and two surviving kids that
he was going to buy a coffeepot,
instead he entered a jewelry
store and slipped a sales
clerk a note demanding cash
and jewelry and claiming
that he had a gun, according
to a police affidavit. The
store manager gave him $170
in a bag. After leaving,
Reardon--who in fact had
no weapon--saw a security
guard in the parking lot,
went up to him and surrendered.
'I completely lost my mind,'
he wrote later in a statement
to police. 'I flipped on
my medications.'
"[Reardon]...was
sinking deep into depression.
Over the summer in Massachusetts,
where Reardon has family,
he would spend hours in
his room with the shades
drawn, says his mother,
Marion Cavanaugh. 'He just
couldn't get over' Shane's
death, she says, and even
began contemplating suicide.
Last month, says Cavanaugh,
Reardon spent a week in
a psychiatric facility.
Just before Christmas, a
psychiatrist prescribed
him three new antidepressants.
'He was on too many pills,'
says Cavanaugh."
Some
of my thoughts on the case:
1) I
think it is fair to be concerned
in this case that a wealthy
white celebrity is getting
(or might get) preferential
treatment. I certainly doubt
that a poor, middle-aged
black man who did the same
thing would get much sympathy
or slack from law enforcement.
2) I
was never fan of Reardon's,
so I do feel I can judge
him objectively. It was
apparent to me throughout
most of
Reardon's career that
he was badly overrated.
He was a good example of
a guy who built up a big
reputation by racking up
a lot of "saves,"
even though an average pitcher
in the same situations would
have saved most of those
games. The hardest bullpen
job is getting out of a
starter or previous pitcher's
jam--it's relatively easy
to pile up one inning saves,
as Reardon did.
3) One
incident from his career
I do remember clearly, and
it doesn't speak favorably
of us baseball fans. It
happened in Montreal (where
Reardon pitched for the
Expos) in 1982 or 1983.
Reardon's wife was honored
at the stadium for some
charity work she had done.
Reardon had been pitching
poorly around that time,
and when his wife's name
was announced for the charity
work, the fans actually
booed her. Nice going guys.
4) Reardon
is wealthy and famous, but
not all wealth and fame
is the same. Some people
are wealthy and famous for
doing great services to
humanity--certainly Reardon
isn't one of them. On the
other hand, many people
are famous and/or wealthy
because they were born into
money, were lucky, or are
just riding on their good
looks. I guess Paris Hilton
qualifies on all three counts.
Reardon isn't one of them,
either--the man earned his
wealth and fame through
hard work and an ability
that few have.
5) When
I was in my early 20s a
friend of mine committed
suicide. My friend had had
a lot of conflicts with
his father. We were told
that his father was very
rigid and demanding. (At
the time I believed this,
though as the father of
a teenager I'm a lot more
skeptical now when I hear
fathers being described
as strict or demanding).
It's been almost 20 years
but I can still clearly
remember the pain etched
in his father's face at
the funeral. I doubt I'll
ever forget it.
6) Were
one of my children to die--particularly
in such a senseless way--my
grief would be so overwhelming
that I might have a hard
time keeping my sanity,
too.
My conclusion:
perhaps I'm a sucker, but
I definitively think Reardon
deserves some slack.
Sharing
Power in the Home
There's
an interesting interview
with
Paul Coughlin, author
of
No More Christian Nice Guy:
When Being Nice--Instead
of Good--Hurts Men, Women,
and Children, on
Crosswalk.com
here. I found the section
below about sharing power
in the home particularly
noteworthy. Coughlin says:
"Men
don't have much of a say
in their homes....Their
wives usually control most
if not all of their social
schedule. And some wives
misuse this power by cutting
out their husband's friends
and sometimes their family.
This is abuse by another
name.
"Wives
have not been encouraged
to restrain their verbal
strength the way husbands
have been told to control
their physical strength.
Wives shouldn't misuse their
verbal superiority when
arguing. They should withhold
this strength in order to
make their verbal disagreements
more fair and beneficial
for everyone involved.
"Some
women don't understand or
appreciate masculinity given
how an entire generation
has been raised to be suspicious
of men. Fathers must not
allow this lack of appreciation
of masculinity to be unleashed
upon their sons."
Best
Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com
HisSide.com
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