THE GREATEST FATHER'S DAY GIFT
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David R. Usher
June 18, 2005
Some of us will be sad for fatherís day this year. Nobody knows the meaning of fatherhood more than divorced men, most of whom discovered too late that being a father is about a 50/50 proposition in this day of automated feminist divorce.
Hidden within this sadness is perhaps the greatest gift of all. Married men often take their place for granted, as their fathers did before. Many of us did that before we were served with divorces we did not expect, want or deserve.
We know better now. Fatherhood is an extremely important institution, one that we restore in our lifetimes. Why? Because there are so many of us now, and many second wives who are disgusted with the system too.
Folks often ask me how I can stand working in this movement for so long. They see it as being too painful to bear. Perhaps this was true until I realized this: This movement is an opportunity to grow, to learn how to play hardball politics, to organize, and to succeed.
Folks often ask my why I keep working on it eighteen years after my own unnecessary ejection from society. My resolve is as deep as ever, and my confidence far greater, because I have seen the changes that have taken place over the years.
The first time we testified in the Missouri Senate in 1989, they simply told us to go away. They couldnít imagine why men would even be interested in social legislation. Today, they are disappointed if we donít show up.
Here is the real reason I wonít ever retire: It is my duty to give to my children that which I could not have: the right to be a parent. And it is my duty to give to their children something children do not have now: the simple right to have a father.
Since my divorce left me with a lot of time on my hands, I have plenty of time to make sure this happens.
Misery is an optional illness on fatherís day (and every other day too). Sure, we donít like spending fatherís day as non-fathers. Realize this: That you feel this way is proof that you are not one of those irresponsible bums that feminists howl about all the time. You are a good father, even if they wonít let you do it. Moral: take all that anger, energy, and free time, and turn it into the loving act of changing the system.
Some reading this article will be married men, or men who have not yet married. This article is perhaps the most important one you can read to prepare yourself for the future, and to change the future for yourself.
Most married men cannot imagine a divorce happening to them. The ďDĒ word doesnít register in their brains. Understand this: your chances of being turned into a childless father are nearly one in two. Do not make the mistake of thinking that you are the only good guy in the world and that divorce only happens to all those bad guys out there. Obviously, 50% of men are not bad guys -- perhaps 5% are. The other 45% are good fathers and husbands just like you who get a big surprise one day, and come screaming in the doors of the menís movement wondering what happened Ė too late to change the future.
Here is what you can do if you are married or not yet married. Your future rests in restoring the value of marriage and fatherhood. The good groups in the menís movement are there working to solidify your future.
The marriage movement is still predominantly run by RHINOS, such as David Blankenhorn and the Institute for American Values. These organizations say things that sound very pro-family, but in the end blame everything on men and push for more child support. This is what drives divorce and unmarried childbirth in the first place. This will change. Washington is realizing that these people have been hijacking healthy social progress for the past decade.
If you are a college student, get active on campus and secure equal rights for men by starting a menís rights group. Call for establishment of a real menís studies program which operates independently of the womenís studies program. Colleges should support equalitarian menís rights groups, and allow them the same freedom of speech granted to womenís groups. It does not take many students to do this. All you have to do is be professional, be persistent, organize, and do it. If you want a real college education, there is no better education in political science, debate, psychology and law than to live it in-vivo.
If you have suitable economic resources, give all you can to credible menís rights organizations. Menís groups are severely hobbled because most divorced men donít have one nickel to rub together. You can name any 501c3 menís group on your United Way form, and allocate your gifts directly.
If you are a woman, you have a tremendous stake in the success of this movement. Divorce has left more women and children in poverty than any war in American history. Single mothers donít ďhave it allĒ. They have to ďdo it allĒ. Many men helped women get the right to vote and to be in the workplace. Now, men need your help. Your dedicated work will make the lives of women and children happier, safer and securer in the future.
No matter what your status is, become active in politics. Work for candidates who support pro-family legislation, and oppose feminist candidates as if your childrenís futures depended on it. Keep an eye on the legislature, and testify on at least two bills per session.
When government gets out of line, your best protection is in having someone with clout who will challenge the system on your behalf. The best protection of all is to change the law so you will not ever be put in the position already forced on about half of todayís fathers. Of course, the strongest form of advocacy is to be a member of the legislature and get your legislation passed.
Remember this: all men under the age of 45 were brought up in a feminist society which teaches men not to trust each other, but to trust only women. Feminism instilled perverse form of chivalry in men. Men used to open doors for women. Now they destroy other men for them, or at least look the other way while other men are being destroyed.
I did not invent this idea Ė it is part of feminist stratagem laid out 45 years ago to make it possible for women to undermine religion, deconstruct marriage and take over the family. Their goal was to destroy male kinship. They succeeded. We must extricate ourselves from these programmed instincts, and regain our trust in every man we know unless there is a clear reason not to trust him.
Priests, ministers, rabbis, and pastors must realize that we live in this relativist dark age because the major religions somehow turned their authority over marriage to feminists in government. The Church has primary authority over marriage and divorce, and should reclaim it both from the pulpit and at law.
Some are already working on this, and with some success. Others, such as Dr. James Dobson adamantly blame men for what feminists did to society and hold men responsible for it. This is the same false witness feminists have misused all along to take over marriage, family, and even religion, at the expense of men of faith. Let us urge Dr. Dobson to pray for an Awakening, or follow someone else who speaks with true wisdom.
Teachers of faith make a great mistake when they only offer comfort when a parishioner subject to a pending divorce comes for counseling. Each divorce is another opportunity for the Faiths to retake jurisdiction over marriage and protect it from the evil of secular meaninglessness. Each divorce is a call to social and religious action and teaching. Those who wish to restore the value of religion can do so by following the Words that make religion valuable.
Perhaps the greatest gift of fatherís day is knowing that we all value of fatherhood, and that we each can do something to give this gift to someone else.
It is through giving that we receive. Let us realize the value of the gift of fatherhood, and do everything we can to pass it on for future generations.
© 2005 David Usher - All Rights Reserved
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David R. Usher is Legislative Analyst for the American Coalition for Fathers and Children, Missouri Coalition And is a co-founder and past Secretary of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children