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New Column: Kuehl's Spousal Rape Bill
Will Harm Innocent Men
My new co-authored column
Kuehl's Spousal Rape Bill Will Harm Innocent
Men (Sacramento News & Review,
6/15/06) discusses a new bill which
is currently shooting through the California
legislature. The bill will abolish the
distinction between spousal rape and other
rapes, and aggravate the problem of false
accusations in family law. Family law
attorney Jeff Leving and I wrote:
"False accusations of
violence or abuse are endemic in family law
cases. The California Senate just
unanimously passed a misguided bill which
will make the problem worse by easing the
way for spurious spousal rape allegations to
be used against fathers.
"Victims of spousal
rape deserve protection, and current
California law provides it. In order for the
state to prosecute a spousal rape charge,
the accuser need only to have mentioned the
violation within a year of its occurrence to
any of a wide variety of medical, law
enforcement, clerical, legal or
psychological personnel, or there must be
corroborating, independent, court admissible
evidence.
"SB 1402, sponsored by
Senator Sheila Kuehl (D-Los Angeles),
eliminates the distinction between spousal
rape and other rapes, thus allowing for
spousal rape prosecutions six years later,
even if there was no mention or independent
evidence of the crime in previous years.
Under SB 1402, when aggravated spousal rape
is alleged, there would be no statute of
limitations.
"In family law
proceedings there are a multitude of
important and emotionally-charged issues
which are often contested and re-contested
over many years. These include: legal and
physical custody; child support; alimony;
division of marital assets; liability for
legal, health care and child care expenses;
requests for relocation; and others. False
accusations often allow accusers to gain
leverage in these proceedings.
"The Senate Judiciary
Committee recognized that false spousal rape
accusations could be used in this manner
when the spousal rape evidence requirement
was created in 1979. They noted that in rape
cases "the issue of consent often boils down
to the word of the victim versus the word of
the accused...[in spousal rape] these
problems of proof would be exacerbated
[by]...the issue of the complaining witness'
motive for making the accusation.'"
To read the full
column, click
here.
To write a Letter to
the Editor of the Sacramento News &
Review, concerning "A bad law that will
hurt good fathers" (6/15/06) write to
sactoletters@newsreview.com.
Leving's Divorce Magazine
The second edition of
Leving's Divorce Magazine,
the new magazine for the
modern divorced man, is now
available online with
articles focusing on issues
such as men's reproductive
rights (or lack thereof),
Parental Alienation Syndrome
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Help, Resources for Dads
The
National Fathers' Resource
Center is a division of
Fathers For Equal Rights,
Inc. (FER), located in
Dallas, Texas, with offices
in both Dallas and Houston.
In existence for over three
decades, it has services and
resources for dads
nationwide and is one of the
largest and most active
fathers' rights
organizations in the U.S.
www.fathers4kids.org
Help for Michigan Dads
Michigan family law
attorney Mindy L. Hitchcock
has experience fighting for
noncustodial parents against
Michigan's abusive FOC. Her
holistic approach to
divorce gets results for her
clients while avoiding the
scorched earth approach to
law that leaves families
emotionally and financially
devastated.
www.Lady4Justice.com
|
|
California Legislators Being Misled on
Spousal Rape Bill
SB 1402's supporters
are garnering support for the bill in part
by playing on the false idea that the
American "patriarchy" condones spousal rape
because a wife is considered to be her
husband's property. It's an excellent
example of a common process used by
feminists over the past three
decades--pretend that a bill is designed to
remedy a patriarchal injustice when the bill
actually does something entirely different.
A related example might
be the way a woman's sexual history is often
banned as evidence as part of rape shield
laws. Those laws have been pushed and passed
in part because feminists (rightfully)
sought to exterminate the idea that raping a
woman is OK, or not as bad, if it's a woman
who is very loose sexually.
The collateral damage
is that in some cases, such as the Kobe
Bryant case, the woman's other recent sexual
activity is very relevant, not because it
implies that she is to blame for being
assaulted, but because it speaks to the
guilt or innocence of the defendant. If a
woman has vaginal injuries which she claims
are the result of a rape, the fact that she
had sex with other men shortly before and/or
after the alleged rape undermines the rape
claim. The injuries could have been caused
by the sex with other men, and it's unlikely
that a woman who has just been injured in a
rape probably would have sex with other men
shortly afterwards.
It also speaks to the
credibility of the defendant's story. In the
Kobe Bryant case the alleged rape victim had
sex with Bryant soon after meeting him.
Bryant says the sex was consensual, his
accuser says it was rape. The accuser's
propensity for sexual liaisons with
strangers supports Bryant's contention that
the sex was consensual, and is relevant to
the case.
In a debate with two
leaders of the National Organization for
Women in the San Francisco Chronicle
two years ago I wrote:
"A Colorado judge
issued a highly controversial decision late
last month on a matter that should not be
controversial. Judge Terry Ruckriegle ruled
that Kobe Bryant, who is facing four years
to life in prison for an alleged rape he
claims was consensual sex, can introduce
evidence that his accuser had other sexual
encounters in the 72 hours before her
medical examination for the alleged assault.
"Various reports in the press have
labeled the decision a 'bombshell for
prosecutors' that 'threatens all women';
Ruckriegle has been likened by the New
York Daily News to a man who has
'tiptoed into a minefield.'
"This is not the old-fashioned 'tar the
victim' defense, however. Bryant's defense
team believes that the microscopic vaginal
injuries the prosecution claims were
suffered in the alleged assault were instead
the product of various consensual sexual
encounters.
"Ruckriegle's decision followed another
controversial ruling granting a defense
motion that Bryant's accuser not be referred
to as 'the victim' in court. This motion was
contested by both the prosecution and by
victims' rights organizations, which filed
amicus briefs and complained that
Ruckriegle's decision created an anti-woman
double-standard.
"That these decisions have drawn
controversy demonstrates how rape-shield
laws have stacked cases against accused men.
They also reflect the success of victim
advocates in minimizing and concealing a
real and damaging problem: Many accusations
of rape are false...
"The Bryant case represents a turning
point in the history of rape trials, as the
judiciary, the public and the media have
finally begun to pay proper attention to the
real danger of innocent men being convicted
of rape."
My column
Kobe Bryant Ruling a Step Towards Equity in
Rape Trials
appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle
on August 1, 2004 as a point/counterpoint.
The counterpoint, written by Terry O'Neill
and Melanie Stafford of the National
Organization for Women, is
Survivors must not be twice victimized.
After the column came out many people asked
me my opinion as to whether Bryant was
innocent or guilty. At the time I wrote:
"I have no
position as to Bryant's innocence or guilt.
As I mentioned in the article, the case
against him appears marginal. Also, I'm
suspicious of an accuser who is mentally
unstable--she was hospitalized for a suicide
attempt two months before the alleged rape.
"And, as I
discuss in the article, false accusations of
rape are common. Still, the feminists are
correct that there are some powerful and/or
famous men who don't know the meaning of the
word 'no.' A talented and pampered athlete
such as Bryant might fit the description.
"I do
deeply oppose any harassment of the alleged
victim. See
Sacks Blasts Those Harassing Kobe's Accuser
(IFeminists, 7/29/03)."
Two years
later, those sentiments still seem valid to
me.
|
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|
Praise for an Enemy
As you know, when a political opponent does
something positive, I try hard to acknowledge it. To
cite one example, before hosting a debate with
feminist firebrand Martha Burk on
His Side with Glenn Sacks I made certain to
praise her for her support of embattled Cuban father
Juan Gonzalez in his efforts to recover his son
Elian--see
Martha Burk v. Warren Farrell on the 'Wage Gap'
(5/22/05). This is unlike my many misguided feminist
detractors, who never seem to see anything positive
in anybody who opposes the modern version of
feminism.
Now fairness demands that (gulp) I praise one of
the nation's biggest opponents of men and
fathers--California State Senator Sheila Kuehl. Over
the past two decades Kuehl has done great harm in
California, and her legislation has had effect on
that of many other states.
Kuehl has sponsored and helped pass
domestic violence legislation which makes it easier
for unscrupulous mothers to drive fathers out of
their children's lives by false charges of domestic
violence. In my co-authored column
Some Progress for California Fathers, but Still a
Long Way to Go (Pasadena Star-News &
Affiliated Papers, Daily Breeze [Los Angeles],
6/18/06) I wrote:
"The OJ Simpson case helped usher in
draconian domestic violence policies which have
victimized many innocent men. State-mandated
mandatory/presumptory arrest policies exhort police
to make arrests on domestic violence calls. 'Primary
aggressor' policies pressure officers to view men as
the instigators of domestic violence incidents. As a
result, many men have been arrested on flimsy
evidence or when they were acting in self-defense."
Kuehl was more responsible for these
policies than any other California political figure.
Also, Kuehl very much opposed the
LaMusga decision and our campaign to preserve
it. To learn more, see my co-authored column
Is a Pool More Important than a Dad? (San
Francisco Chronicle, Los Angeles Daily News,
5/4/04), and
California Senate Leader Pulls Anti-Child Bill in
Face of Huge Opposition (MND Newswire,
8/16/04).
In 1993 Kuehl told a news conference
that incidences of domestic violence increased by 40
percent on Super Bowl Sunday. The media ran with the
story and it was blared across newspapers and TV
stations from coast to coast. As Christina Hoff
Sommers carefully explained in her book Who Stole
Feminism?, there is no truth to this claim.
Despite the fact that several major publications,
including the Washington Post and the
Boston Globe, ran retractions, the story became
an Urban legend whose negative impact is felt even
today.
Kuehl has also opposed and tried to
block
paternity fraud legislation in California.
I criticized Kuehl both in my column
Kuehl's Marriage License Bill Ignores Male Victims
of Domestic Violence (Los Angeles Daily
Journal, San Francisco Daily Journal, 6/13/02)
and, more recently,
Kuehl's Spousal Rape Bill Will Harm Innocent Men
(Sacramento News & Review, 6/15/06).
I interviewed Kuehl at length a few
years ago, and personally she's nice enough.
However, she's saddled with the feminist "men have
everything/women have nothing" world view to the
point where she is unable to make objective
decisions about issues involving gender. When I
suggested to her that we need services for male
victims of domestic violence, she replied that since
men are a "well-funded community," if we want
services for male victims we should go organize them
ourselves. Government funding, however, is for
abused women.
My mother often says "people grow
and change," and perhaps we are seeing a little
growth in Sheila.
As I mentioned in a few weeks ago,
Mike Robinson and the
California Alliance for Families and Children
are trying to defeat or force an amendment to AB
2051. AB 2051 specifically excludes male victims of
domestic violence and their children from DV-related
services, an exclusion made at the insistence of the
California National Organization for Women and
taxpayer-funded domestic violence groups. To learn
more about the bill, see my co-authored column
AB 2051 Moves California in Wrong Direction on
Domestic Violence, (Daily Breeze [Los
Angeles], 6/1/06].
Many of the biggest names in the
domestic violence field worldwide have signed a
letter to the California legislature opposing AB
2051. The signatories call on California to stop
ignoring male victims and their children, and note:
"'The data is without
question--domestic violence affects both men and
women. The politicization of this issue must stop
and services must be provided to all children and
their parent victims.'"
Robinson reports that in a hotly
contested hearing on the bill last week, "Kuehl
admitted that we have made our case, and that there
are a lot of heterosexual male victims. I almost
fell out of my chair."
Kuehl's evolving view may help point
the way to meaningful reforms in current California
domestic violence policy. Whatever happens, I salute
Kuehl for her honest and politically difficult
admission.
Finally What Child Support Payers
Need
Child Support obligors face a
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who's working 50 hours a week to pay
his child support and support his
family. The burden of proving
compliance with court-ordered
support falls on the obligor, not
the custodial parent or the
enforcement agencies. Very often
fathers are forced to pay money they
don't really owe, or are saddled
with fake arrearages and the
concomitant interest and penalties.
Since the state provides a ton of
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battles.
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|
Thomas Jefferson Murdered Women?
Last week I discussed the case of Darren Mack,
the Nevada man who (allegedly) stabbed his ex-wife
and shot and wounded a family court judge earlier
this month. I wrote:
"I'm not sure that this even
needs to be said but I will say it anyway--I condemn
without qualification the crimes allegedly
committed by
Darren Mack in Nevada last week.
"Mack was angered by his divorce and custody
case. Some on the not insubstantial lunatic fringe
of the fathers' rights movement see Mack as some
sort of freedom fighter. Most of the commentary by
other fathers' rights advocates seem to be of the
'he couldn't take it any more and snapped' variety.
"I don't buy it. Though everyone is focusing on
Mack's attempted murder of a judge, everyone seems
to forget that he first stabbed and killed his
ex-wife. After murdering her, he shot the judge
through the judge's third-floor office window with a
sniper rifle from over 100 yards away. That's not
'snapping'--that's premeditated murder.
"Mack is not a good man trapped in a bad system. He
is a bad guy. Because of men like him the system had
to create protections for women, and unscrupulous
women have misused those protections to victimize
countless innocent men. Men like Mack aren't the
byproducts of the system's problems--they are
the problem."
I contrasted Mack with the heroic English father
David Chick, who was denied access to his little
girl, and who launched a world famous, traffic
snarling, peaceful, six day,
one-man protest atop a 150 foot high crane near the
Tower Bridge in London in November 2003. I
noted:
"David Chick acted with humanity and courage.
Darren Mack possesses neither."
Recent reports indicate that Mack is even sicker
than I had imagined. According to
this article "[during] a search of Mack's
townhouse, police turned up a shoe, towels and a
t-shirt all with red stains after his ex-wife, was
found dead there. Also, police say they discovered
more than 50 boxes of ammunition and four empty
rifle cases."
According to
Mack's room held bomb parts (Reno
Gazette-Journal, 6/20/06), Mack "had bombmaking
materials in his bedroom."
"The materials, when mixed together and attached to
a blasting cap or shot at, will explode, said Washoe
County sheriff's Sgt. Lou Gazes, head of the
Consolidated Bomb Squad for Washoe County, Reno and
Sparks and who was at Mack's apartment.
"'There were materials that could have made a bomb,'
Gazes said Monday...
"The police search of Mack's apartment also found
'several boxes of firearm ammunition, including
.223-caliber and .243-caliber rifle ammunition which
was strewn about a floor in one of the
bedrooms'...and police found 'an empty rifle case
which contained a receipt from the purchase of a
Bushmaster .223 caliber rifle by Darren Roy
Mack'...the rifle was 'equipped with a laser
sighting device.'"
Mack and some of his supporters at the extreme
end of the fathers' rights movement are comparing
his actions to those of George Washington, Thomas
Jefferson and the other revolutionaries who took up
arms against British tyranny. I used to be a History
teacher but I guess my memory is failing me a
bit--tell me, Darren, when did Thomas Jefferson stab
women?
New York Attorney General Candidate Supported Child
Abuser
According to the article
Stars light up state campaigns (New York
Daily News, 6/25/06), Andrew Cuomo is squaring
off against Democratic party politico
Mark Green in the race for the Democratic party
nomination for Attorney General of New York. I would
root for Cuomo anyway, since he's my wife's old
boss, but I noticed a problem with Green that should
concern every father in New York State. According to
the article:
"Bridget Marks, a Manhattan mom whose custody
battle for her twin girls generated headlines
nationwide in 2004 and 2005, said she was hitting
the campaign trail for Green to return past
kindnesses.
"'Mark was there for me from the beginning of my
battle,' said Marks, who first met Green more than a
decade ago and was impressed when he quietly showed
up in court during her custody battle to lend
support. 'His heart is in the right place.'"
As I've noted numerous times, Marks was found both
by a trial court and by an Appellate court to have
coached her then-four year-old twin girls to make
false allegations of sexual molestation against
their father. All five judges who have heard her
case concluded that Marks had abused her children in
this manner.
Marks ended up winning custody in part due to the
widespread media sympathy she created through
constant theatrics, playing victim, and her
determination to place her little girls in the
public spotlight. After losing custody of the girls
to John Aylsworth, her ex-boyfriend, she
successfully took her side of the story to the
public via appearances on Larry King Live,
PrimeTime Live, The O'Reilly Factor, and Dr.
Phil, and through quotes in one-sided "news"
articles in the New York Daily News and the
New York Post. (Aylsworth and his attorney
Patricia Grant declined to speak publicly until
Grant's appearance on
His Side with Glenn Sacks on April 3. To
listen or read a transcript of that show, which both
the New York Post and the New York
Daily News quoted from, click
here).
It is sadly indicative of the weakness of our
movement that an individual like Marks would be
considered an asset, instead of an embarrassment, in
a political campaign.
Domestic Violence Expert Criticizes System's
Anti-Male Bias
Domestic violence expert
Dr. Donald Dutton, who has appeared in this
E-newsletter numerous times, criticizes the domestic
violence system's anti-male bias in
this article. Dutton writes:
"A few years ago, a woman
arrived home from work in Saskatoon to find her
husband, who had obviously spent the day drinking,
complaining of irritation with their fractious
child. She insisted she needed to rest before making
dinner. She awoke to find him in a rage straddling
her and brandishing a kitchen knife, which he used
to cut her abdomen. Bleeding, terrified, she managed
to call 911. The police arrived within minutes. They
observed her plight, spoke to her husband and then,
responding to the unspoken but powerful
institutional guidelines routinely applied in such
cases, arrested ... her. In spite of her wound, she
spent the night in a jail cell, and was released the
next morning.
"As it stands, this story makes no sense -- and
indeed would have aroused national indignation if it
were completely true. But I deliberately misled the
reader on one particular. In the real story, by no
means a unique one in police archives, the genders
were reversed: The man arrived home after a 12-hour
shift; the child's mother was drunk; the man lay
down; the woman stabbed him in a rage; the police
didn't take his injuries seriously; they accepted
the woman's explanation -- probably self-defence --
and arrested the man.
"Unfortunately, such gender bias in the
law-enforcement system and beyond is typical, not
exceptional. A double standard for men and women,
applied in cases of intimate partner violence (IPV)
-- as well as in family law, including spousal
support and child custody cases -- has become
commonplace in most Western societies over the last
25 years. And in spite of a widening stream of
incontrovertible statistical evidence to the
contrary, the myth persists that it is women, and
only women, who are the victims of IPV."
"The stereotype that unprovoked men purposefully
assault women, and never the reverse, is so
ingrained in our public discourse that participants
in research on IPV -- not just lay people but health
professionals as well -- presented with a scenario
in which one partner abuses another, perceive it as
abuse only if the assaulter is identified as male."
I quoted Dutton extensively in my column
Domestic Violence Treatment Policies Put Abused
Women in Harm's Way (Daily Breeze [Los
Angeles], 11/7/05). The column criticizes
domestic violence treatment programs for following
an ideological, women good/man bad model, as opposed
to actually dealing with the psychological problems
that abusive men have. I wrote:
"Psychologist Donald G. Dutton, author of The
Abusive Personality: Violence and Control in
Intimate Relationships, asserts that personality
disorders are the cause of most domestic violence.
According to Dutton:
"'Treatment providers who work with abusive men
are very frustrated by the current domestic violence
treatment paradigm. Research shows that
Duluth-oriented treatments are absolutely
ineffective, and have no discernible impact on rates
of recidivism. These methods cannot work because
they preclude patients from developing the crucial
therapeutic bond with their treatment providers.
However, when we treat offenders like normal
patients by focusing on personality disorders and
employing cognitive-behavioral treatments, we see
progress.'"
Dutton recently released Rethinking Domestic
Violence, and is one of North America's leading
proponents of sanity in the domestic violence
sphere. To learn more about Dutton's new book,
click
here. Dutton's email address is
dondutton@shaw.ca.
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Father: A Child's Right
Visit
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Ex-Convicts Who Are Fathers
In
Illinois Fatherhood Council Recommends New Reforms
in Family Law, Child Support (Chicago
Sun-Times, 6/18/06) family law attorney
Jeff Leving and I discussed the problems faced by
fathers who have been incarcerated. We wrote:
"The Council also recommends measures to assist
incarcerated or formerly incarcerated fathers, many
of whom went to prison for nonviolent drug offenses.
The Council urges the Department of Employment
Security and the Department of Corrections to help
facilitate ex-offenders in obtaining expungements of
their records. They also suggest a law or program to
abate or adjust incarcerated offenders' support
obligations, since ex-offenders have often accrued
large arrearages during their incarceration that
they are unable to pay upon release."
Our family law system's treatment of ex-convicts
could not be more asinine and counterproductive. In
my co-authored column
Schwarzenegger Should Sign Bill to Reduce Prisoner
Recidivism (Riverside Press-Enterprise,
9/21/05) we wrote:
"AB 862, introduced by Assemblywoman Karen Bass
(D-Los Angeles), adds a section to the Penal Code
which would require that upon incarceration, every
inmate under the authority of the California
Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation receive
materials assisting them in lowering their child
support obligations. Currently inmates--many of them
mothers incarcerated for non-violent drug
offenses--rack up thousands of dollars in child
support arrearages while they are incarcerated. The
vast majority of these arrearages are not owed to
custodial parents, but instead to the state to
reimburse welfare and foster care costs.
"Everybody loses under the current system. The
state tries in vain to beat huge
arrearages--sometimes $20,000 or more--out of dead
broke, unskilled, and uneducated ex-offenders.
Because interest and penalties accrue rapidly, many
former prisoners struggle under a staggering debt
they could never hope to pay off. Some return to
jail because of nonpayment of child support. Others
are re-incarcerated after turning to illegal
activity to support themselves, because at their low
wage legal jobs 40 or 50% of their paychecks are
garnished to pay their arrearages and current
support. For ex-offenders interested in and capable
of playing a meaningful role in their children's
lives, these debts often make such a role
impossible.
"In all cases, the costs of the crimes committed
and of re-incarcerating the ex-offenders vastly
outweigh the puny sums the state collects in back
child support. According to former California State
Controller Kathleen Connell, the average annual cost
of state-level incarceration in California is
$21,000 per prisoner. By contrast, AB 862's total
cost to the state is only $80,000 a year.
"The current system is also unfair to
ex-offenders. Child support is based on income and
the ability to pay. Incarcerated parents have
neither. Prisoners pay for their crimes with their
time behind bars and should not be subject to other
punishments which are artificially extended beyond
their sentences."
Of course, whenever you talk sense on child
support issues or suggest that ex-convicts have paid
their debt to society and deserve fair treatment,
you're going to be a target for yahoo politicians
looking for a sound bite, and this time was no
exception. To read about California Republican
Assemblyman
Todd Spitzer's attacks on my column, see
California Republican Legislator Says Glenn Coddles
Deadbeats, Convicts.
Help for California Divorced Dads
The Divorced Fathers Network helps
dads in Los Angeles, the Bay Area
and Santa Cruz. Local chapters
sponsor free weekly co-parenting
classes, individual mentoring for
fathers and much more.
www.divorcedfathers.com
Tree House Solutions
Tree House Solutions, LLC is
a growing and evolving resource
designed to meet the emotional and
informational needs of parents who
are going through divorce and those
already divorced. Tree House
activities are composed of live,
real time teleconferences on a
weekly basis. These sessions are
conducted by two highly experienced
mental health practitioners, versed
in high conflict divorce. Drs. Bone
and Evans offer a wide spectrum of
suggestions and education regarding
the divorce process and co-parenting
with difficult former spouses.
www.treehousesolutions.org
Help for Boston Dads
Boston family law attorney Nick
Palermo is a shared custody advocate
who believes that divorced dads are
parents, not visitors. The Law
Offices of Nicholas Palermo is a
dedicated and committed trial law
firm which has worked to make shared
custody for all fit parents the law
of the land.
LAW OFFICES OF NICHOLAS PALERMO |
|
Column: Why Dads Matter
My new co-authored column
Why Dads Matter (Houston Chronicle
& others,
6/18/06) discusses research showing fathers'
importance in their children's lives. In the column
Mike McCormick, Executive Director of the
American Coalition for Fathers and Children, and
I wrote:
"...according to a long-term
study conducted in the United States and in New
Zealand and published in Child Development, a
father's absence greatly increases the risk of teen
pregnancy. The study found that it mattered little
whether the child was rich or poor, black or white,
born to a teen mother or an adult mother, or raised
by parents with functional or dysfunctional
marriages. What mattered was dad.
"A Journal of Marriage and
Family study found that the presence of a father
was five times more important in predicting teen
drug use than any other sociological factor,
including income and race. A published Harvard
review of four major studies found that, accounting
for all major socioeconomic factors, children
without a father in the home are twice as likely to
drop out of high school or repeat a grade as
children who live with their fathers. A Journal
of Research in Crime and Delinquency study
concluded that fatherlessness is so predictive of
juvenile crime that, as long as there was a father
in the home, children of poor and wealthy families
had similar juvenile crime rates.
"Adult children of divorce
realize dads are important. A published Arizona
State University study found that more than
two-thirds believed that, after divorce, 'living
equal amounts of time with each parent is the best
arrangement for children.'"
To read the whole column, click
here.
To write Letters to the Editor concerning the
issues discussed in the column, use the information
below:
-
Houston Chronicle,
Why fathers matter -- to kids,
6/18/06--write to them at
viewpoints@chron.com
-
Ft. Worth Star-Telegram,
For want of a dad, will a child be lost?,
6/18/06--write to them at
letters@star-telegram.com
-
Buffalo News,
Dads play an important role in children's
development, 6/17/06--write to them at
LetterToEditor@buffnews.com
-
Omaha World-Herald,
Never underestimate importance of a dad,
6/18/06--write to them at
pulse@owh.com
-
Riverside
Press-Enterprise, Don't think that dads are
expendable, 6/18/06--write to them at
letters@pe.com
Column: Illinois Fatherhood
Council Recommends New Reforms in Family Law, Child
Support
My new co-authored column
Illinois Fatherhood Council Recommends New Reforms
in Family Law, Child Support (Chicago
Sun-Times, 6/18/06) discusses the new
recommendations of the Illinois Council on
Responsible Fatherhood. Family law attorney Jeff
Leving is the chairman of the Council. In the column
Jeff and I wrote:
"...in 2003 the legislature created
the Illinois Council on Responsible Fatherhood to
identify obstacles that impede fathers' involvement
in their children's lives and devise strategies to
remove them. The Council's report will be released
next month. Its two central recommendations involve
family law and child support.
"The Council's first recommendation is to reform the
family law system to eliminate anti-father gender
bias and facilitate responsible father
involvement...A related problem identified by the
Council is the scarcity of affordable and pro-bono
legal services for low-income fathers. The state
represents custodial parents free of charge in child
support matters, and many programs provide free
legal aid to mothers. By contrast, when a father
seeks to enforce his visitation rights, block a
move, or dispute a questionable child support
arrearage, he is on his own...
"Many Illinois fathers who can play an important and
positive role in their children's lives face
needless obstacles. Policies based on blaming and
punishing dads may make good political sound bites,
but they are counterproductive for society, and
hurtful to children and the fathers they love and
need. The Council believes it's time for
policymakers to take a fresh look at dads."
To write a Letter to the Editor of the Sun-Times
concerning
Reform family law system to give dads a chance to
help their kids (Chicago Sun-Times,
5/7/06), write to
letters@suntimes.com.
The Secrets of Happily Married Men
How can a man achieve a long and
happy marriage? If you've been
checking out advice columns or
seeing a therapist, you may have
been looking in the wrong place.
Despite all the advances in brain
technology, and all of that we have
learned about developmental
psychology--men and women are given
the same advice about solving
problems. But when we ask men what
works for them, we hear a different
story.
www.SecretsofMarriedMen.com
How Does Sex Discrimination Affect
Men and Boys?
The
National Coalition of Free Men
is a non-profit educational & civil
rights organization that looks at
the ways sex discrimination affects
men and boys.
NCFM helps provide men a unified
voice on important political and
social issues.
www.NCFM.org
Has Your Career Been Impacted by
Custody Issues?
After empowering people's careers
for over 20 year, I was duly
initiated into family law just like
you--through a 30 month, $520,000
custody suit. I learned that a solid
home-based business could be the
best option, allowing one to shake
the financial shackles while still
experiencing a "no limits" career.
More than ever, our kids now need a
free and available parent. Be there
for them... and for yourself.
Darrell W. Gurney,
www.CEOinShorts.com |
|
Hogan's Heroes Beat Back Dad-Bashing Bill
Last week we reported in
Massachusetts Dads Target of Governor's
Grandstanding that Massachusetts Governor Milt
Romney is grandstanding for his presidential
candidacy by beating up on dads.
Dan Hogan, Executive Director of Massachusetts'
Fathers & Families, wrote:
"Yesterday, Governor Romney to great fanfare and
at a large press conference released details of his
bill to force dads to pay even more child support in
a state that already has one of the highest rates in
the country. His bill would allow the Department of
Revenue to promulgate regulations governing how much
dads must pay to cover the costs of covering their
children through Mass Health, the state-funded
health insurance program for the indigent."
Now
Hogan has announced that they have beaten back
this bill, which has now been referred back to
committee for more study--often the graveyard for
bills. To learn more, see this Statehouse News
Service
article. Hogan and
Fathers & Families founder Ned Holstein
testified against the bill (click
here) and did some economic modeling of the
bill's effects
here. Nice work, particularly given the
difficulty of operating in Massachusetts, one of the
worst states for divorced dads.
Added note: several months ago I expressed mild
annoyance to Ned that Dan was second in command
instead of being the Executive Director of F & F,
because if Dan were the Executive Director I could
refer to F & F in this E-newsletter as "Hogan's
Heroes." A few months later Ned stepped aside and
put Dan in charge of the organization. Thanks,
guys...
Alec Baldwin Defamed
We have previously discussed the Alec Baldwin/Kim
Basinger custody battle.
As I've noted, Basinger's attempts to alienate
Baldwin's 10 year-old daughter from him are so bad
that even his ex-mother-in-law is protesting. An
article in the Irish Examiner explained:
"Kim Basinger's mother has blasted her own
daughter for wrecking relations between her
ex-husband Alec Baldwin and the couple's daughter.
"Baldwin recently took Basinger to court in a bid to
extend his custody terms after the actress allegedly
violated a court imposed settlement, and now little
Ireland's grandmother is speaking out about the
court battle, which has now been settled.
"Ann Basinger admits she sides with Baldwin, who she
calls 'wonderful,' adding, 'My heart is sad for
Ireland. She's the one that's suffering the most.
All this is killing her.
"'I think Kim has tried to alienate Ireland from her
father. Alec loves his daughter with all his heart.
He really is a family man...Kim and I used to be
close but now I don't see Ireland very often because
Kim won't let me and that's because I won't take her
side about everything...She's my daughter and I love
her, but I hate what she's doing.'"
Earlier this week the Associated Press wrote a
story about the custody battle which made headlines
in hundreds of newspapers. Some examples included:
"Judge Orders Alec Baldwin To Face Psychological
Examination," "Alec Baldwin To Undergo Psychiatrical
Evaluation," "Alec Baldwin Must Undergo Evaluation,"
"Judge wants psychologist to assess Alec Baldwin,"
Also, my favorite--"Putting the Looney back in
the Looney left."
All of these imply that Baldwin is the violent
headcase Basinger pretends he is as part of her
attempts to alienate Baldwin's daughter from him.
In journalism we say "nobody reads the
retractions." Several days after the original story,
the Associated Press published the following
"clarification":
"In a June 10 story, The Associated Press
reported that a judge wants a psychologist to
evaluate actor Alec Baldwin to determine whether he
is fit to see his 10-year-old daughter more often as
part of an ongoing custody battle with former wife
Kim Basinger.
"The story should have said Baldwin requested an
evaluation as part of his request to change the
conditions of the child custody order, and that a
judge said an evaluator also needs to spend time
with his ex-wife and child as part of the process."
In other words, Baldwin's not being dragged off
to a shrink by order of concerned judges, but
instead is being evaluated (along with Basinger) as
part of a normal request for a custody modification.
Oops...
File Taxes Online with Professional Help
MENstax.com allows you to file your
taxes, check your refund status, and have
your return reviewed by an experienced tax
professional--all online.
Looking for a Home in the Bay Area?
Realtor
Janet Attard utilizes current and timely
data to effectively sell your present
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of your dreams. Janet knows the local real
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here or contact Janet at
janetgraceattard@kw.com.
Legal Help for Fathers
If you live in Los Angeles, Riverside or
Orange counties and you're facing a divorce,
separation, or a child custody issue, the
law firm of Oddenino & Gaule can help. |
Update on Canadian Parental Alienation Case
In
Canadian Court Nails Jell-O to a Wall I
discussed the way a Canadian court accomplished the
all-too-difficult of holding a divorcing mother
accountable for her behavior in a Parental
Alienation case. A Canadian court transferred
custody from a divorced woman who had sabotaged her
children's relationship with their estranged father.
The court wrote:
"'We recognize, as did the trial judge, that the
remedy of granting custody to the father is a
dramatic one. However, that remedy was supported by
the expert evidence and by the mother's persistent,
ingrained and deep-rooted inability to support the
children's relationship with the father,' said three
judges of the Ontario Court of Appeal in a unanimous
decision this week."
In
this new article it becomes apparent that mom is
still trying to poison the children:
"The mother maintains the boys remain deeply
insecure and upset 10 months after the court ordered
them to leave her home and live with their father.
"'The other day, on Tuesday, (one of the boys) was
crying and saying, 'Don't give up mommy. Don't,
don't give up mommy,' she said, imitating the young
child's plaintive cry.
"[Judge] Lafreniere observed that the mother seemed
unable to comprehend that she, by her behavior,
might well be causing her children's reaction.
"The mother rejected that notion in a recent
interview.
"'These children have their own minds and they know
where they want to be. It has nothing to do with me.
It has everything to do with what they've known,
what they've grown up with and what's familiar to
them,' she said...
"The judge gave generous access to the mom, who has
her sons two evenings a week and three out of four
weekends a month. The rest of the time, they live
with their dad.
"The father acknowledges that on occasion one of the
boys will be a little sad when the mom drops them
off, but within 30 seconds he and his brother are
involved in some activity and everything is fine
again.
"'When the boys are with me, they're happy. They're
living for the moment and no, they're not
devastated. I do everything I can to make sure
they're secure and happy,' he said...
"'What I want out of all of this,' said the dad, 'is
two 23-year-old boys who are happy, well adjusted
and respectable.'"
The mother's rhetoric is right from the Parental
Alienator's handbook--insist that the children are
in dire straits with their fathers, but assure the
children and the public that you are doing
everything you can to liberate them. You're
struggling against desperate odds in a system
stacked against heroic moms like you. When the
children themselves repeat the words and sentiments
you put into their mouths, stand back and pretend
that this is just how the kids feel, they make up
their own minds, it has nothing--nothing!--to do
with anything you've done.
One saw some good examples of these tactics in
PBS's anti-father film
Breaking the Silence: Children's Stories,
which
we protested. One of the mothers in the film
had been found culpable of multiple acts of abuse
by a California Juvenile Court, and had both her
daughters adjudged as dependents of the Juvenile
Court. Yet even she did the "heroic mom fighting for
her children" shtick, and the film's producers with
a straight face included it in the film.
Remember, too, that in the Canadian case these
boys are only 5 years old. How on earth would
they independently get a fully-formed image of their
dad--who they were rarely allowed to see anyway--as
this demonic individual?
The story also notes that during the years dad
was pushed to the margins of his children's lives,
he "began to volunteer in children's kindergarten
class and joined their school's parent-teacher
association" as a way to keep in touch with them.
Dedicated Glenn Sacks readers know that this is
similar to what happened in the LaMusga case
decided by the California Supreme Court in 2005. In
my co-authored column
PBS Declares War on Dads (World Net Daily,
10/20/05) we wrote:
"Gary LaMusga's son's kindergarten teacher
testified about the tactics LaMusga's ex-wife, Susan
Navarro, used to try to turn his children against
him. The kindergarten teacher explained that Navarro
asked her to keep track of the time Gary spent
volunteering in his little son's kindergarten
classroom so it could be deducted from his
visitation time with his son.
"According to the teacher, the LaMusga boy told
her 'my dad lies in court...if you tell the
judge...he could talk to you' and said that his mom
had told him this. The teacher testified:
"'I finally sat down with him and told him that
it was OK for him to love his daddy. I basically
gave him permission to love his father. And he
seemed brightened by that...'
"The teacher continued:
"'The next day that Gary had seen the kids he
came to me the following morning and said, 'what did
you say to him?...He was so happy. He just greeted
me with open arms...we had one of the best evenings
that we have had in a long time.' And I just shared
with Gary at that point that I had given his son
permission to love his father....I'm not sure that
he was aware that he could do that.'"
Best Wishes,
Glenn Sacks
GlennSacks.com
HisSide.com
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