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Letter to The Connecticut Legislators


Dear Mr. Lawlor,

I find your position on shared parenting inappropriate and less than knowledgeable on the subject.  In fact it is already against the law, though ignored by the courts.  As a loving father I want to, and will, see a PRESUMPTION of shared parenting become law and be enforced.  The only question is when.  Anything else creates huge incentives for legal battles, which hurt children and families and drain their finances for the benefit of lawyers and judges.  The current system has become a distorted mess over the last thirty years. Effectively the judicial branch of government is still living in the 1950s.

Imagine if you had to run for election with the presumption you would lose, and therefore (because of that presumption) your opponent got all the money from your fundraising efforts!  Would that not be outrageous?  This is exactly what is happening in family courts today , and the lawyers love this because it generates excessive legal fees, more conflict and drains the estates of families at their most vulnerable time.  Mothers are set up to get the majority of the estate and legal and physical custody of the children one day one of a divorce filing.  Fathers must battle back, spending a fortune to get any chance of fair treatment.   Ultimately they loose anyway, no matter what the situation and are raked over the coals with tens of thousands in unnecessary legal fees.  It is insidious and generates miserable results.  Shared parenting is coming, the grass roots movement is forming now worldwide. You can fight it and lose votes, or join it, because it is in the best interests of children and families and the RIGHT thing to do.

You must decide. However, clearly you are not yet aware of the inevitability of this due to our FUNDAMENTAL constitutional rights to raise our children, and enjoy their company.

Additionally the laws the legislatures have implemented to protect battered women are being used to abuse fathers. Today between 50% and 90% of restraining orders are used to throw the father out of the house and denying them access to their children, often with false (and sometimes even no) charges. This is enormously destructive to families and children. However, again the legal system loves t because it generate huge legal fees, due to the undebatable abuse of father's constitutional rights.  No "due process", no presumption of innocence, no "equal rights" guaranteed under the ERA.   The research is now in, yet the family courts are basing their decisions today on research that is decades old (and was never scientifically valid), and based on traditions that should have gone away with the Equal Rights Amendment.

Do you know that Virginia, with a population similar to Massachusetts, has about 1,500 outstanding restraining orders at any one time and Massachusetts has over 50,000? Do you think men in Massachusetts are 33 times more violent? Of course not, lawyers in Massachusetts, Connecticut and may states are using this legislation for unfair advantage in divorce. The abuse is immoral, rampant and despicable. Any woman that is willing to say the word "fear" to a judge, true or not, immediately evicts her husband and controls the children and home one day one. It is a horrible situation.

There is no question that the family courts and judges are literally breaking the constitution every day (Title 42, Sec. 1983, 1985 and other amendments). The only question is when will they be called to task and held responsible for this behavior. I, for one, am committed to a multi-year battle to make this happen and will be raising millions of dollars for this cause (as I have one for other worthy nonprofit and children's causes in the past).

Fatherlessness is now encouraged by the states and current legal system. It is one of the largest problems in the U.S. today. It is a silent travesty that is now coming to light.  Please research this further and you will easily see that only lawyers and judges benefit from the current system, not children and families. Of course they want it maintained for their personal enrichment.

The government is now effectively regulating against marriage, because it is so onerous to get divorced today, with as much as 40% of your after tax income going to your ex-wife just for "child support". On average this can represent more than six times the actually cost of raising a child (by independent statistics). Hence this is "child extortion" not child support - which would be 50% of the actual cost of raising a child - 1/10th today's level.  Any man earning less than $70,000 per year can not even afford their own small apartment in Massachusetts and many other states today. The men pay the taxes on the ex-wife free ride income and far more, as the women get the "head of household" tax benefits.  This is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

You must become more informed on this issue. I trust further research will educate you on the damage current laws are causing to our children and families.

Best Regards,  
Robert - A concerned father whose children have been kidnapped by the state