The first thing lawyers want to know when interviewing them about representing you in a divorce is what are your assets? This is because they want to know how much they can bleed from you in the process. Many no doubt have a formula as a percentage of your net worth in their own heads of what they hope to take along the way. I know one person with a prenup who is already $500,000 in the hole and he had a prenup that should have simplified the process.  You will get "serviced" along the way until you are out of money fighting for your children and then they will recommend settling, which you could have done in the first place without their help. The family court and divorce lawyers are in the BUSINESS of leading you to slaughter and are in a conspiracy of silence with the judges, GALs and all other leeches that make their outrageous livings off the misery of divorcing families. What is ironic is most do not enforce or respect the law in any way and are in fact breaking the law daily.

The financial position you are put in (especially with a restraining order issued) is actually impossible to survive unless you have significant savings to draw upon. Your wife will get 40% of your after tax income (2 children average). With a restraining order you will likely be forced to continue to make all payments on your house that she now has too. Since mortgages are generally as much as 50% of your take home that leaves you 10% of your income to live on on day one (before any divorce court trial which may be 12 to 24 months away). In other words you are totally screwed from the get go and it is economically impossible for you to win, or even put up a good fight unless you do it by representing yourself ("Pro Se").  Any additional money you make 26% goes to her (40% after taxes are calculated) and 10% goes to you. You CAN NOT win. This is why the courts are effectively forcing all fathers into the cash economy or to be criminals and lie about their income. They can not personally survive if they do not find some way out of this financial spiral. Add tens of thousands in lawyer fees on top of this ridiculous situation and your back is broken in no time with your wife holding all the cards for negotiations - game over - just they way the judges and lawyers like it - you have no chance to even fight. The system eats you alive by giving all your own income to your wife!

THE ONLY STRATEGY THAT WORKS AND DOES NOT FEED THE SYSTEM?

Going Pro se, as your own attorney seems the only way to go unless you have megabucks (literally). In this scenario your wife is paying $200-$300 per hour and you are not! :) It seems like the only way to go due to this natural course of events. In this case the lawyers will at least want to settle the case when she is out of money or begins to understand she is being had.  While they easily win, which is the standard sexual bias of the courts, she will do anything her lawyer says basically - often including lying about things.  At least you have some negotiations leverage during the settlement where you would otherwise have NONE!

From what I can tell judges learn the "real you" directly this way because you are speaking for yourself, and you might do better because you can show him/her you are being honest etc.  Since the lawyers suck anyway, and will basically refuse to push hard for you because of fear of the judge, you might as well suck yourself, get more and not pay the machine that eats you.

 

Take John Flaherty's course at the Liberty Bell Union called "Taking Charge of Your Case".:/This $250 course (one hour of a lawyer) can save you $20,000 to $50,000 in legal fees or more and allow you to fight the battle you should. You need to clog up the system with valid complaints and motions that you might not otherwise be able to afford while they route all your income to your wife.

 

My sentiments exactly. It's a money making organized crime operation for most lawyers and judges. The more money you through at it doesn't help. The lawyers are looking for a "big" kill. You're just chump change. Lunch money. The more money you through at it, the more powerful it gets. Then when you run out of money, guess what? Game's over. The ex-spouse wins.