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An Understanding Ex-Wife on a Father's Contribution to Children's Lives
 
 
Children whom spend more time with their fathers playing and such tend to be more competent.  The fathers give the gaming, playing and more of the visual stimulation influences.  Where as the mother normally gives the care giving, such as, feeding, dressing, bathing, discipline, teaching and talking.  This statement is coming from my psychology studies and was by (de Luccie and Davis 1991).  They know that overall fatherís can be just as affectionate, sensitive and responsive as the mothers.  However, infants tend to get a very different view of males and females.  Mothers and Fathers both have a strong influence in their childrenís lives and sexual development.  This goes without saying that both parents are needed to have them develop the way they are supposed to.  Both parents need to play an active role in raising their children.  It is well balanced for our children when both parents are involved, however when one of those roles are removed it sends an unbalanced situation into effect.  Nurturing comes actually from both parents in so many different ways.

This was part of my studies this week in class and I had to share.  Seems apparent that people would understand it is possible to raise a child as only one parent when it is a forced situation.  However, does it not actually take two people to get their children conceived and brought into this world?  The assumption would be, knowing it takes two people to produce a child that it takes two people to raise them as well.  This should be taken into consideration and their own disagreements and feelings towards one another should be dropped, so they can raise a balanced child!

I have friends who are in similar situations which I am speaking about.  Friends who are fathers, which are being pushed out of their childrenís lives due to hateful ex wives.  These women are depending on the court system here in the United States and elsewhere in the world to delete the fathers from their own childrenís lives with the laws which are in place.  I see this as women being vengeful and taking advantage of situations brought to light that arenít even part of their problems.  Lots of fathers are fighting for equal time to be shared with their children so they might have a balanced life.

I also have friends who are women which have been basically deleted from the largest part of their childrenís lives due to ex husbands.  This particular happening with a friend of mine was a wonderful mother, but sadly enough didnít have the funds available to her so she could fight for equal parenting.  Therefore, she had to do as the court system seen fit and gets her children only 2 weekends a month. 

Other people whom I know, I wonít necessarily call them friends, allow other people to raise their children.  They donít take a large position in their childrenís lives and shirk their own responsibilities as parents.  Some have abandoned their children and others just donít care about their own childís well being.  I have to stop and wonder how this will affect their children later on down the road in their own lives.  Will it cause them to repeat the same situation again or will they break the cycle?  Does make one wonder does it not?

I really donít think that a lot of people take into consideration the powerful effects which their own actions might cause later on down the road.  This is where cause and effect would come into play I would think.  I have witnessed very powerful actions in my own daughterís life coming from what is now a broken home.  I have witnessed the anger and frustration which is very apparent towards one or the other (her father or me).  However, I am sure that I have done things within my power to assure that she has as much of a balanced life as possible.  I suppose that is all I can do at this time.  I will not delete her father out of her life even though at times he does shirk responsibilities. 

Ok, I am sure that I have ranted on this subject long enough for the moment.  I have voiced my opinion and thoughts.  So, with that bringing us to the end I will wish all of you Fatherís out there a Happy Fatherís day and tell you that are going through a battle for equal rights and opportunity with your children to hang tough and keep your chin up things will get better in time!
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Two parents is natures way and gods way and it should not be overridden by an overzealous state government trying to "save everyone". The government, as always happens eventually, has taken good intentions and created evil results. Each layer of bureaucrat distorts the original intention a little more until the result generated is worse than the original problem. 

Ronald Reagan once said: The nine most terrifying words in the English language are... I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

Warren Farrel's excellent book "Father and Child Reunion" dissects this issue in wonderful and insightful detail from several perspectives, but the only conclusion must be both parents are better than one.