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TVol.
8, No. 3
The Fourteen Percenter
June 2005
A publication for parents on the wrong
side of the standard possession order.
- I see my child two days out of every
fourteen; 14%. That's not enough!
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Read
and Write |
Eulogy
for a Dead Beat Dad |
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Women's
traditional support systems
support women being vulnerable;
men's traditional support
systems support men being
invulnerable. When a man fails
as a wallet we put him in
prison. When a woman fails
as a mother, we offer her
social services. Warren Farrell,
"Father and Child Reunion:
How to Bring Dads We Need
to the Children We Love."
Today, someone
asked about you. The question:
How to distinguish you from
the dead broke dads since
both of you are in need of
jobs and hard cash. Your life
is in a spiral direction downward
and maintaining the hope that
life will get better becomes
more difficult with each step
you take.
Funny, sometimes
the answers aren't readily
there when we need them. Later
the retort came to me - If
these fathers are dead, why
not let them rest in peace!
To make it official, this
Fathers Day we are planning
a stateside funeral of all
the Dead Beat/Dead Broke dads.
The Department of Human Services
from the Division of Families
and Children and Child Support
will be invited to bring their
Deadbeat/Dead Broke case files
to throw inside the coffin.
We will
bury you with the fathers
that raised you. The ones
that kept reminding you, 'You
are no good,' your alcoholic
fathers, the ones that beat
you for no reason leaving
the scars to heal in the rain,
and anger's heat.
Not to worry,
dead beat and dead broke dads
are not being invited, will
not appear on the scene, after
all, they have been dead too
long. We fully understand
dads are important to the
family.
This funeral
will be to remind us that
the real question is about
identifying, celebrating fathers/men
who are ALIVE - struggling
to be fathers for their children,
men who really want to be
good fathers without any real
lesson plans, men who live
in a world that takes a criminal
approach to men and a social
services approach to women.
We will
celebrate you and the fathers
we carry in our souls - men
living, struggling daily to
be good fathers and men.
Trinidad
Sanchez, Jr. |
Interactive
Workshop |
I have
designed a workshop entitled
Engaging Men's Hearts. It
is an interactive workshop,
in which participants listen
to a few poems about being
fathers and then asked to
write a poem for their fathers
and share them with the workshop
participants. This workshop
is oftentimes an emotional
and difficult time for men,
but participants always are
grateful that they participated.
If you know of anyone
who would be interested in
this workshop. Have them contact
me.
Trinidad Sanchez, Jr., 2803
Fredericksburg Road, # 1215,
San Antonio, Texas, 78201,
210-733-5167,
trinidadjr43@hotmail.com |
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Request
for Articles |
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The Fourteen
Percenter is an international
newsletter that seeks to promote
equal parenting rights in
the US, the UK, and worldwide.
We welcome feedback, as well
as any article, poem, or review
relating to the child-parent
bond. Send your letters to
FourteenPercenter@yahoo.com |
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Read
- Book Blurbs - Children's
Books Featuring the Father |
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'Daddy Books,' short stories
written for toddlers and
pre-schoolers in which fathers
are featured, are becoming
more popular - just as real-life
dads are taking a larger
role in the lives of their
children. Many stores and
libraries have developed
Summer Reading Clubs to
help develop in our children
a love of literature; a
perfect opportunity for
the Summer Period of Possession
for noncustodial parents.
Read to your kids - and
have them read to you. The
Fourteen Percenter recommends
you visit your local library
or bookstore for these titles.
Only My Dad and Me, by
Alyssa Satin Capucilli,
Tiphanie Beeke illustrator.
Wind, rain, snow, or shine
- a father and child can
always find something to
celebrate. The double flaps
of this book reveal how
time spent together can
build a day, a season, and
a lifetime of loving memories.
Let this book become another
happy moment shared with
"only my dad and me."
The Daddy Book, by Todd
Parr. Here's a book about
all different kinds of daddies:
Some daddies have a lot
of hair. Some daddies have
a little hair. Some daddies
work at home. Some daddies
work far away. All daddies
(and their kids) will love
this book! Pictures represent
a variety of fathers, making
cookies and buying donuts,
camping out and taking naps,
and hugging and kissing
their children.
Daddy's Little Girl, by
Bobby Burke, Horace Gerlach,
Maggie Kneen illustrator.
"You're the end of
the rainbow, my pot of gold,
\ You're daddy's little
girl, to have and to hold
" The song "Daddy's
Little Girl" has been
a favorite of fathers and
daughters for more than
fifty years. In this first
ever picture-book version,
an adoring rabbit daddy
and his little bunny bring
the moving lyrics to life
as they share special moments
that demonstrate the special
bond reserved for daddies
and their little girls.
The full lyrics and music
are included for the whole
family to enjoy together.
"Daddy's Little Girl"
was written by Bobby Burke
and Horace Gerlach in 1949.
It was an instant hit, and
has gone on to become a
staple of wedding reception
playlists for the dance
shared by a bride and her
father.
"Daddy's Little Boy,"
a companion song written
by Billy Collins in 1950,
has been recorded by many
artists, notably by the
Mills Brothers, is considered
an American standard. In
this first ever picture-book
version, a caring daddy
bear and his little cub
bring the moving lyrics
to life as they bask in
each other's love. The full
lyrics and music are included
for the whole family to
enjoy together.
I Love My Daddy Because,
by Laurel Porter-Gaylord,
Ashley Wolff illustrator.
Cuddle up and take a child
into the world of animals
with this adorable concept
book about parents and babies.
The clever text borrows
simple phrases from a child's
experience to show that
animal daddies take care
of their young, too. Illustrated
in soft, beautiful colors,
this is the perfect book
for sharing on a loving
lap. This bilingual book
contains the entire story
in both English and Spanish.
Dad Aren't You Glad, by
Lynn Plourde, Amy Wummer
illustrator. One day a little
boy offers to lend his father
a hand with all his chores.
He paints the house (and
much more), cuts the grass
(with scissors), and puts
up a tent (sort of). By
the end of the day, Dad
seems more tired than usual.
"Well," says the
boy, "maybe I still
have some things to learn,
but aren't you glad, Dad,
that there's one Dad thing
I can do just as good as
you? Give a big smoocharoo!"
This sweet and funny picture
book is ideal for sharing
on Father's Day or any day.
Froggy's Day with Dad,
by Jonathan London, Frank
Remkiewicz illustrator.
Part of the Froggy series,
this story has Froggy enjoying
Fathers Day with his dad.
The day starts with the
typical kid-making-breakfast
activities of messy cooking
and dropped eggs. The egg
shells are nice and crunchy,
his dad says. Next, dad
and son spend time at the
park, playing bumper boats,
using the batting cage and
finally trying their hand
at miniature golf. They
wrap up the day with a homemade
gift.
My Daddy and Me, by Jerry
Spinelli, Seymour Chwast
illustrator. I can't wait
for my daddy to come home
from work. There are so
many things to do! In a
loving tribute to fathers
and sons, Newbery Medalist
Jerry Spinelli and New Yorker
artist Seymour Chwast join
talents to celebrate the
very best moment of the
day: when daddy comes home.
A young boy describes the
things he likes to do with
his father, including making
music, baking cookies, and
fixing things.
My Dad Is Awesome, by
Nick Butterworth. Every
father would like to receive
this book for Father's Day,
and read it his 2-4 year-old
children. One of the best
ways to be a good role model
as a father is to be encouraged
to be one. This book will
make any father sit up straight,
stick out his chest, and
be the best he can be.
Without You (Book and
CD), by Sarah Weeks and
Suzanne Duranceau. "Where
would I be, \ what would
I do, \ without you?"
So sings a newborn penguin
in this tender tribute to
dads the world over. While
a mother penguin leaves
her mate and newly laid
egg to go and feed in the
deep blue sea, the father
penguin protects the egg
by holding it on his feet
until it hatches. Father
and chick huddle together,
braving the Antarctic winter
as they wait for the mother's
return.Containing a free
CD with a song written and
sung by Sarah Weeks, "Without
You" is a soothing
narrative ballad that illuminates
one of nature's rare and
heartwarming role reversals
and celebrates the special
bond between father and
child.
Mister Seahorse, by Eric
Carle. When Mrs. Seahorse
lays her eggs on Mr. Seahorse's
belly, she knows he will
take good care of them -
especially since he gets
advice from other fatherly
fish. Featuring colorfully
surprising acetate overlays,
Eric Carle has created a
beautiful book, filled with
the wonders of aquatic life.
Daddy's Girl, by Garrison
Keillor, Robin Preiss Glasser
illustrator. What could
be sweeter than the relationship
between a daddy and his
little girl? With his signature
wit and warmth, beloved
radio host and writer Garrison
Keillor turns ordinary daily
events - from diaper-changing
and eating favorite foods
to a walk through the neighborhood
- into celebrations. And
for those times when daddy
and baby just have to dance,
the book includes a CD of
Keillor's live performances
of the songs - plus bonus
tracks.
Daddy Promises, by Kerry
Arquette. Beautiful keepsake
gift book to help Dad remember
the promises he has made
and to encourage him to
share those promises with
his children. Perfect for
new and expectant fathers,
adopting fathers and dads
with young children.
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Resources |
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The Fourteen
Percenter thanks A-1 Product
Distribution for donation
of their printing services.
Typesetting, binding, and
laminating are other services
available at 2015 McCullough
in San Antonio, Texas. Contact
800-652-8477 or
http://www.a1laminating.com/index.cfm |
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Fatherhood
Proclamation for Fathers Day,
2005 |
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Whereas We respect and
nurture the humanity of
men on their journey as
fathers; and Whereas Fathers
are committed to being a
partner in healthy, supportive
families and involved in
the positive upbringing
of children; and Whereas
Fathers are engaged, loving,
creative, resourceful, and
provide rich resources for
neighborhoods and communities;
and Whereas Fathers are
good role models for their
children when they possess
healthy self-esteem and
are demonstrative of empathetic
and pro-social behavior;
and Whereas Fathers are
involved in the education
of their children so they
may develop into loving,
productive adults; and Whereas
Fathers take advantage of
support and opportunities
to be the best Fathers they
can be; and Whereas Families
will grow and remain healthier
and stronger if individuals,
communities, government
agencies, public and private
organizations, institutions,
and businesses assist, recognize
and support Fathers on their
journey of Fatherhood.
Now, therefore, The Fourteen
Percenter hereby officially
proclaims Fathers Day, Sunday
- June 19, 2005, to be known
as a day of appreciation
and celebration of fathers
and calls upon all state
agencies, all social services,
and all citizens to recognize
and celebrate fathers who
are connected with their
children, dedicated to their
families, and involved in
their communities.
Don Mathis, Editor, The
Fourteen Percenter
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Recital |
THE FIRST TIME |
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You
tell your father "I love
you." is not easy. For
we are taught to love women....not
men. My father was the one
I wanted to be near, to feel
his strength, to know his
passion for life. The
distance between us went unnoticed
until that fateful day‑the
phone call. It would be my
first airplane ride from Cincinnati
to Detroit, ironically, to
be with him at death. Funny,
for years I saved the ticket
stub not sure whether to remind
me of my first flight or his
death. Standing next to him,
I remember being strong‑
after all, I was his
namesake and others were expecting
me to be a man.
The day I cried was months
later, when I went to my mailbox
for his weekly letters and
poems. The box was empty‑no
letter, no poems. I was so
alone. Lost.
Confused. I had been taught
about sex, but no one had
explained the overwhelming
sensations that arrive with
the death of the man who for
twenty years, I called "papa." He
lay so still, properly embalmed.
His amigos from the Monterrey
Pool room paid their final
respects. The priest said
some stupid prayers. I cursed
God for the strange feeling
of being a young man without
a father. I wanted to hug
him one last time or would
it be our first? The line
from the poem he wrote to
me, after my leaving home,
"it was papa who took
a drink and wanted to hug
you tight". floated around
like a bad taste in my mouth.
Now the distance between the
family has separated us to
different parts of the country.
Mama, lost her voice, she
quietly waits for your return
at the Nightingale Nursing
Home. She teaches us a lesson‑how
sometimes death sneaks slowly
up on you weakens you till
your last breath. Now, I struggle
to be father for my beautiful
ten year old daughter. You
are not here but I want you
to know I don't blame you
anymore. The poet in me wants
to share a poem with you,
make you smile, laugh but
all I can do is tell the children
" . . . my father was
a poet." I feel so proud,
at the precise moment when
I express your words with
my voice: but I remember too
well how the first time I
told my father
"I love you" . .
. was not easy.
Trinidad Sánchez, Jr.
7/26/1993 |
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