The American Coalition for Fathers
The American Coalition for Fathers
and Children is dedicated to
creating a family law system which
promotes equal rights for all
parties affected by divorce.
Contact the ACFC at 1-800-978-3237
or visit them on the web at
Parenting Plan Calendar Software
Shared Ground (R) is an
easy-to-use custody calendar
software program designed for
divorced families to track
visitation schedules. Includes a
built-in percentage calculator,
schedule templates, free training
and excellent customer assistance.
Parents, attorneys, arbitrators and
mediators can generate equitable
parenting plans, which is especially
useful for parents seeking fair
division of their children's time.
FREE TRIAL SOFTWARE AVAILABLE by
New Column: Illinois Fatherhood Council
Recommends New Reforms in Family Law, Child
My new co-authored column
Illinois Fatherhood Council Recommends New
Reforms in Family Law, Child Support (Chicago
Sun-Times, 6/18/06) discusses the
new recommendations of the Illinois Council
on Responsible Fatherhood. Family law
attorney Jeff Leving is the chairman of the
Council. In the column Jeff and I wrote:
"...in 2003 the legislature created the
Illinois Council on Responsible Fatherhood
to identify obstacles that impede fathers'
involvement in their children's lives and
devise strategies to remove them. The
Council's report will be released next
month. Its two central recommendations
involve family law and child support.
"The Council's first recommendation is to
reform the family law system to eliminate
anti-father gender bias and facilitate
responsible father involvement...A related
problem identified by the Council is the
scarcity of affordable and pro-bono legal
services for low-income fathers. The state
represents custodial parents free of charge
in child support matters, and many programs
provide free legal aid to mothers. By
contrast, when a father seeks to enforce his
visitation rights, block a move, or dispute
a questionable child support arrearage, he
is on his own...
"Many Illinois fathers who can play an
important and positive role in their
children's lives face needless obstacles.
Policies based on blaming and punishing dads
may make good political sound bites, but
they are counterproductive for society, and
hurtful to children and the fathers they
love and need. The Council believes it's
time for policymakers to take a fresh look
To write a Letter to the Editor of the
Reform family law system to give dads a
chance to help their kids (Chicago
Sun-Times, 5/7/06), write to
Hogan's Heroes Beat Back Dad-Bashing Bill
Last week we reported in
Massachusetts Dads Target of Governor's
Grandstanding that Massachusetts
Governor Milt Romney is grandstanding for
his presidential candidacy by beating up on
Dan Hogan, Executive Director of
Fathers & Families, wrote:
"Yesterday, Governor Romney to great
fanfare and at a large press conference
released details of his bill to force dads
to pay even more child support in a state
that already has one of the highest rates in
the country. His bill would allow the
Department of Revenue to promulgate
regulations governing how much dads must pay
to cover the costs of covering their
children through Mass Health, the
state-funded health insurance program for
Hogan has announced that they have
beaten back this bill, which has now been
referred back to committee for more
study--often the graveyard for bills. To
learn more, see this Statehouse News Service
article. Hogan and
Fathers & Families founder Ned Holstein
testified against the bill (click
here) and did some economic modeling of
the bills' effects
here. Nice work, particularly given the
difficulty of operating in Massachusetts,
one of the worst states for divorced dads.
Added note: several months ago I
expressed mild annoyance to Ned that Dan was
second in command instead of being the
Executive Director of F & F, because if Dan
were the Executive Director I could refer to
F & F in this E-newsletter as "Hogan's
Heroes." A few months later Ned stepped
aside and put Dan in charge of the
organization. Thanks, guys...
Help for Michigan Dads
Michigan family law attorney Mindy L.
Hitchcock has experience fighting for
noncustodial parents against Michigan's
abusive FOC. Her
holistic approach to divorce gets
results for her clients while avoiding the
scorched earth approach to law that leaves
families emotionally and financially
The Second Wives Club
The Second Wives Club is what women in
blended families are looking for:
Remarriage, divorce, child custody, and step
parenting discussed in a solution-oriented,
mature, and intelligent way; articles and
news written by thought-provoking experts
and journalists; personal accounts and
advice from some of life's most interesting
Glenn Sacks = David Duke?
As you've all seen, I'm not one to mind getting
slammed--facing incessant stupid criticism comes
with the territory. Still, I'm always amazed at what
passes for political discussion and debate on
feminist discussion boards. Feminists can and often
do make the most outrageous, defamatory and
groundless assertions about yours truly, and other
posters seem to accept them without question.
www.ReclusiveLeftist.com feminist professor Hugo
Schwyzer, who has been my guest on
His Side with Glenn Sacks a couple times, is
here for lacking sufficient feminist zeal, a
common theme among his critics. And, as usual, one
of Hugo's enemies' main pieces of evidence is Hugo's
amicable relationship with the evil Glenn Sacks. And
as accustomed as I am to these attacks, this one is
so over the top that it surprised even me.
The list of my crimes is so long it reminds one
of the scene in Pirates of the Caribbean I
where Pirate Captain Jack Sparrow is about to be
hanged and some stiff British military officer reads
off the long list of his crimes--a list so long that
Sparrow rolls his eyes out of boredom at listening
to it, wishing instead that they would just hang him
and get it over with. To name a few:
"Glenn Sacks is like David Duke; he thinks women
are subhuman and deserving of fewer rights than
men...He is a mouthpiece for ideas which espouse
hatred and he is a militant activist in legislation
that hurts women & children and he is effective..."
"Glenn Sacks is a misogynist. He is blatantly
anti-feminist, and not only that, anti-woman. His
position...is that women and children are the
property of men, and woe betide any woman who
happens to wish for any kind of autonomy. He's been
instrumental in communicating all sorts of rhetoric
via his radio show and website to the public about
'men's rights' and 'father's rights' that have
destroyed the lives of countless women and children
"Glenn Sacks [is] dedicated to making it harder
for rape victims to get justice."
"Glenn Sacks promotes misogyny, bigotry and
hatred. He's no friend of any self- respecting
man--feminist or no."
And let us not omit this classic:
"Glenn Sacks...wouldn't save you if you were
Just once I would like to see someone actually
provide evidence for these assertions. I've been
published over 300 times--if I were so vile, it
shouldn't be hard to find something incriminating on
me. But feminists have never been famous for
supplying evidence to support their assertions...
Accurate Paternity Testing
There are many important reasons why
people choose to have a paternity
test done. A child is entitled to
the sense of belonging and identity
that comes from knowing his/her
parents. An alleged father also has
the right to know if a child is
biologically his. Paternity fraud
in the United States is
unfortunately a fairly common
occurrence, affecting perhaps
millions of men. Now you can get
the accurate, fast and affordable
answers to your paternity
call 877-434-0292 to talk to a DNA
testing expert or to order a
confidential test today.
Finding Your N.U.T.s.--Non-negotiable
Wayne M. Levine, M.A., founder
of BetterMen, has written a new book
with sage advice and proven tools
for men who want to be BetterMen in
their relationships and in their
lives. Finding Your N.U.T.s
offers men the truth about
themselves, their relationships,
their responsibilities as men, and
the power they have to be BetterMen.
Alec Baldwin Defamed
We have previously discussed the Alec Baldwin/Kim
Basinger custody battle.
As I've noted, Basinger's attempts to alienate
Baldwin's 10 year-old daughter from him are so bad
that even his ex-mother-in-law is protesting. An
article in the Irish Examiner explained:
"Kim Basinger's mother has blasted her own
daughter for wrecking relations between her
ex-husband Alec Baldwin and the couple's daughter.
"Baldwin recently took Basinger to court in a bid to
extend his custody terms after the actress allegedly
violated a court imposed settlement, and now little
Ireland's grandmother is speaking out about the
court battle, which has now been settled.
"Ann Basinger admits she sides with Baldwin, who she
calls 'wonderful,' adding, 'My heart is sad for
Ireland. She's the one that's suffering the most.
All this is killing her.
"'I think Kim has tried to alienate Ireland from her
father. Alec loves his daughter with all his heart.
He really is a family man...Kim and I used to be
close but now I don't see Ireland very often because
Kim won't let me and that's because I won't take her
side about everything...She's my daughter and I love
her, but I hate what she's doing.'"
Earlier this week the Associated Press wrote a
story about the custody battle which made headlines
in hundreds of newspapers. Some examples included:
"Judge Orders Alec Baldwin To Face Psychological
Examination," "Alec Baldwin To Undergo Psychiatrical
Evaluation," "Alec Baldwin Must Undergo Evaluation,"
"Judge wants psychologist to assess Alec Baldwin,"
Also, my favorite--"Putting the Looney back in
the Looney left."
All of these imply that Baldwin is the violent
headcase Basinger pretends he is as part of her
attempts to alienate Baldwin's daughter from him.
In journalism we say "nobody reads the
retractions." Several days after the original story,
the Associated Press published the following
"In a June 10 story, The Associated Press
reported that a judge wants a psychologist to
evaluate actor Alec Baldwin to determine whether he
is fit to see his 10-year-old daughter more often as
part of an ongoing custody battle with former wife
"The story should have said Baldwin requested an
evaluation as part of his request to change the
conditions of the child custody order, and that a
judge said an evaluator also needs to spend time
with his ex-wife and child as part of the process."
In other words, Baldwin's not being dragged off
to a shrink by order of concerned judges, but
instead is being evaluated (along with Basinger) as
part of a normal request for a custody modification.
Finally What Child Support Payers
Child Support obligors face a
stacked deck when squaring off
against CS Enforcement's army of
lawyers and agents, all pitted
against some beleaguered father
who's working 50 hours a week to pay
his child support and support his
family. The burden of proving
compliance with court-ordered
support falls on the obligor, not
the custodial parent or the
enforcement agencies. Very often
fathers are forced to pay money they
don't really owe, or are saddled
with fake arrearages and the
concomitant interest and penalties.
Since the state provides a ton of
free assistance to custodial
parents, fathers need quality,
affordable representation for these
Child Support Liberation's Child
Support Audits and Record Management
Program helps obligors challenge
arrears by producing professional,
top-quality self-audits which
include all the necessary records in
the proper form.
CSARMP then conducts quarterly
audits that will alert obligors to
overcharges. In addition, they will
maintain ongoing records of
obligations, payments and interest.
CSARMP costs only $13 a month
($38 for the first month only) and
can be cancelled with only 30 days
notice. To learn more or to sign
here. If you have any questions,
write to Michael Kennedy of
Child Support Liberation by
Armstrong Williams Trashes Dads--And a Chance to Do
Something About It
In his new column
Father's Day: Current state of Fatherhood
columnist/radio talk show host/author Armstrong
Williams laments the decline of fatherhood. And of
course he knows just who to blame:
"...we must also call attention to the cowards
who father a child but never become a true dad. We
need to take a hard look at why these fathers run
out on their families and abandon their children. We
cannot lower our standards by ignoring these
dead-beat-dads and considering them the norm. We
cannot overlook the problem or sweep it under a
Williams co-hosts a morning show (6 am to 10 am
EST) in New York City, which is also available via
the internet at
http://www.wwrl1600.com/. The call-in number for
the show is (212) 868-0975.
It would be interesting if during the morning
shows this week certain members of the Sackson Horde
called the show, pretending to have a comment on
whatever subject they're discussing, and then, once
on the air, blasted Williams for his father-bashing
column. For anyone who does it, write to me and let
me know what happened. Again, the number is (212)
did something like this recently (though bigger
and better) to the singer Beyonce over her wearing
fur, and I don't see why fathers' activists can't do
With Friends Like These...
on numerous occasions about father-bashing "family
values" conservatives and Christian conservatives,
and here we go again. According to Williams'
Williams is called 'one of the most
recognizable conservative voices in America' by
The Washington Post. Williams is a pugnacious,
provocative and principled voice for conservatives
and Christian values in America's public debates."
Do I Even Need to Say This?
I'm not sure that this even needs to be said but I
will say it anyway--I condemn without qualification
the crimes allegedly committed by
Darren Mack in Nevada last week.
Mack was angered by his divorce and custody case.
Some on the not insubstantial lunatic fringe of the
fathers' rights movement see Mack as some sort of
freedom fighter. Most of the commentary by other
fathers' rights advocates seem to be of the "he
couldn't take it any more and snapped" variety.
I don't buy it. Though everyone is focusing on
Mack's attempted murder of a judge, everyone seems
to forget that he first stabbed and killed his
ex-wife. After murdering her, he shot the judge
through the judge's third-floor office window with a
sniper rifle from over 100 yards away. That's not
"snapping"--that's premeditated murder.
Mack is not a good man trapped in a bad system. He
is a bad guy. Because of men like him the system had
to create protections for women, and unscrupulous
women have misused those protections to victimize
countless innocent men. Men like Mack aren't the
byproducts of the system's problems--they are
Whenever a divorced dad has done something crazy
and I refuse to make excuses for him, certain
misguided individuals get mad at me, call me a wimpy
moderate, a sellout, etc. Often the fact that I have
never been divorced or dealt with the family law
system in my personal life is cited as the reason
that I "just don't get it." For example, I heard
this type of criticism when I condemned Perry Manley
here. (I will admit though that Perry Manley is
a saint compared to Darren Mack).
To all the radicals out there about to descend on
me over my comments on Darren Mack, I offer the
counter-example of the Englishman
David Chick. If the system has screwed you and
you want to do something about it, have the courage
to do what David Chick did. Chick was denied access
to his little daughter by the girl's vindictive
mother, and had been to court 25 times and spent the
equivalent of $30,000 in unsuccessful attempts to
get English courts to enforce his visitation rights.
Chick then launched a world famous, traffic
snarling, six day,
one-man protest atop a 150 foot high crane near the
Tower Bridge in London in November 2003. Facing
a prison sentence for his protest, Chick was
acquitted by an English jury, some of whom were
reportedly moved to tears by his testimony. In 2003,
Chick came in second in the Evening Standard
London Personality of the Year contest and was the
runner-up Political Personality of the Year on a
major English television station.
In September 2004, Chick struck
again, climbing the
London Eye, an enormous 450-foot-high ferris
wheel on the banks of the River Thames. Chick spent
18 hours there--one hour for every month that had
passed since he had been able to see his little
daughter. Nearly 20,000 people were prevented from
visiting the attraction because the police closed it
down during the protest. Popular still, a London
jury again acquitted Chick of causing a public
Chick succeeded in changing his case
and is now a regular part of his young daughter's
life. David Chick acted with humanity and courage.
Darren Mack possesses neither.
Dad's Time Tracker - Get More Time With Your
Children and Manage Your Child Support
Dad's Time Tracker helps divorced
fathers collect the information necessary to
get more parenting time, lower their child
support, or gain custody of their children
by creating a child support payment record
and thorough tracking of expenses. This
tool makes co-parenting easier because key
"friction" areas--expenses, medical issues,
contacts, day care information, parenting
time--are addressed in advance.
How to Win Shared Custody
If you are an active, engaged, committed,
dedicated, loving parent facing a divorce,
family law attorney
Nicholas Palermo's The Ten Essential
Elements to Winning Joint Shared Physical
and Legal Custody can help you protect
your relationship with your children.
Concerned about Financial Issues in Your
If you're concerned about financial issues
in your divorce, contact
Jim DiGabriele of DiGabriele, McNulty &
Co by email
here or at 973-243-2600.
Update on Canadian Parental Alienation Case
Canadian Court Nails Jell-O to a Wall I
discussed the way a Canadian court accomplished the
all-too-difficult of holding a divorcing mother
accountable for her behavior in a Parental
Alienation case. A Canadian court transferred
custody from a divorced woman who had sabotaged her
children's relationship with their estranged father.
The court wrote:
"'We recognize, as did the trial judge, that the
remedy of granting custody to the father is a
dramatic one. However, that remedy was supported by
the expert evidence and by the mother's persistent,
ingrained and deep-rooted inability to support the
children's relationship with the father,' said three
judges of the Ontario Court of Appeal in a unanimous
decision this week."
this new article it becomes apparent that mom is
still trying to poison the children:
"The mother maintains the boys remain deeply
insecure and upset 10 months after the court ordered
them to leave her home and live with their father.
"'The other day, on Tuesday, (one of the boys) was
crying and saying, 'Don't give up mommy. Don't,
don't give up mommy,' she said, imitating the young
child's plaintive cry.
"[Judge] Lafreniere observed that the mother seemed
unable to comprehend that she, by her behavior,
might well be causing her children's reaction.
"The mother rejected that notion in a recent
"'These children have their own minds and they know
where they want to be. It has nothing to do with me.
It has everything to do with what they've known,
what they've grown up with and what's familiar to
them,' she said...
"The judge gave generous access to the mom, who has
her sons two evenings a week and three out of four
weekends a month. The rest of the time, they live
with their dad.
"The father acknowledges that on occasion one of the
boys will be a little sad when the mom drops them
off, but within 30 seconds he and his brother are
involved in some activity and everything is fine
"'When the boys are with me, they're happy. They're
living for the moment and no, they're not
devastated. I do everything I can to make sure
they're secure and happy,' he said...
"'What I want out of all of this,' said the dad, 'is
two 23-year-old boys who are happy, well adjusted
The mother's rhetoric is right from the Parental
Alienator's handbook--insist that the children are
in dire straits with their fathers, but assure the
children and the public that you are doing
everything you can to liberate them. You're
struggling against desperate odds in a system
stacked against heroic moms like you. When the
children themselves repeat the words and sentiments
you put into their mouths, stand back and pretend
that this is just how the kids feel, they make up
their own minds, it has nothing--nothing!--to do
with anything you've done.
One saw some good examples of these tactics in
PBS's anti-father film
Breaking the Silence: Children's Stories,
we protested. One of the mothers in the film
had been found culpable of multiple acts of abuse
by a California Juvenile Court, and had both her
daughters adjudged as dependents of the Juvenile
Court. Yet even she did the "heroic mom fighting for
her children" shtick, and the film's producers with
a straight face included it in the film.
Remember, too, that in the Canadian case these
boys are only 5 years old. How on earth would
they independently get a fully-formed image of their
dad--who they were rarely allowed to see anyway--as
this demonic individual?
The story also notes that during the years dad
was pushed to the margins of his children's lives,
he "began to volunteer in children's kindergarten
class and joined their school's parent-teacher
association" as a way to keep in touch with them.
Dedicated Glenn Sacks readers know that this is
similar to what happened in the LaMusga case
decided by the California Supreme Court in 2005. In
my co-authored column
PBS Declares War on Dads (World Net Daily,
10/20/05) we wrote:
"Gary LaMusga's son's kindergarten teacher
testified about the tactics LaMusga's ex-wife, Susan
Navarro, used to try to turn his children against
him. The kindergarten teacher explained that Navarro
asked her to keep track of the time Gary spent
volunteering in his little son's kindergarten
classroom so it could be deducted from his
visitation time with his son.
"According to the teacher, the LaMusga boy told
her 'my dad lies in court...if you tell the
judge...he could talk to you' and said that his mom
had told him this. The teacher testified:
"'I finally sat down with him and told him that
it was OK for him to love his daddy. I basically
gave him permission to love his father. And he
seemed brightened by that...'
"The teacher continued:
"'The next day that Gary had seen the kids he
came to me the following morning and said, 'what did
you say to him?...He was so happy. He just greeted
me with open arms...we had one of the best evenings
that we have had in a long time.' And I just shared
with Gary at that point that I had given his son
permission to love his father....I'm not sure that
he was aware that he could do that.'"
Letters From a Deadbeat Dad
Have you ever been framed as a "deadbeat
dad" while you were just trying to be a
father? Have you ever been forced to pay
child support while being denied your basic
rights? Have you ever had to explain
Parental Alienation Syndrome to your own
child? Have you ever heard about fighting
family law battles outside the law by
following principles of non-violence--and
Letters From a Deadbeat Dad by
Lisa Scott Launches RealFamilyLaw.com
Shared Parenting Advocate/Family Law
Attorney Lisa Scott has just launched
www.RealFamilyLaw.com to expose the
truth about what is happening in our family
law system. Lisa, the all-time leader in
appearances on His Side with Glenn Sacks,
says that she was "tired of having her stuff
rejected by elitist bar publications and
politically-correct newspapers" and decided
to start her own website.
Protester: 'I Live in the Same Town as My
Daughter and I Can Only See Her at Specific Times'
Dad says he's biking to Washington for equal custody
"Robb MacKenzie is a corrections officer in
Michigan's Upper Peninsula. He is also the
non-custodial father of a 12-year-old daughter, a
situation he says has cost him money and valuable
time with his daughter.
"MacKenzie is riding his bicycle from Lansing to
Washington, D.C., in support of a measure in the
Michigan Legislature that would automatically
designate joint custody in divorce, separation and
non-marital cases unless specific factors dictate
otherwise. He plans on being in Washington by June
22, after taking part in rallies this weekend in
Pittsburgh and in Columbus, Ohio.
"'I'm trying to make people aware of how unfair it
is for non-custodial parents,' MacKenzie said during
a stop in Adrian on Wednesday. 'We had joint custody
until we went to court and that's when the money
started. My lawyer told me to not even bother going
back to court.'
"State Rep. Leslie Mortimer, R-Horton, is sponsoring
House Bill 5267, which says, 'The court shall order
joint custody unless, by clear and convincing
evidence that a parent is unfit, unwilling, or
unable to care for the child.' The measure was sent
to the committee on Family and Children Services in
"I live in the same town as my daughter and I can
only see her at specific times,' McKenzie said. 'She
and her friends knew the route I was taking through
Lansing and they waved and rang bells of support for
me. I almost cried.'"
To learn more about MacKenzie's protest, go to the
Dads of Michigan website
here. To learn more about HB 5267, the Michigan
Shared Parenting Bill, see my co-authored column
HB 5267 Will Help Michigan's Children of Divorce
(Lansing State Journal, 5/28/06).
Column: New Report--Foster Care System
My recent co-authored column,
New Report: Foster Care System Disregards Fathers
(Boston Globe, 6/8/06) discusses one of the
most egregious wrongs done to children and their
dads today. Family law attorney Jeff Leving and I
"When a mother and father are divorced or
separated, and a child welfare agency removes the
children from the mother's home for abuse or
neglect, an offer of placement to the father,
barring unfitness, should be automatic. Yet
according to a new report by the Urban Institute,
few fathers are able to reunite with their children,
who are instead pushed into the foster care system.
"The new report, What About
the Dads? Child Welfare Agencies' Efforts to
Identify, Locate, and Involve Nonresident Fathers,
examines the foster care systems of Massachusetts
and three other states. The report contains a
shocking finding: when fathers inform child welfare
officials that they would like their children to
live with them, the agencies seek to place the
children with their fathers in only 8% of cases....
"What About the Dads?
makes it clear that many child welfare workers treat
fathers as an afterthought. The report found that
even when a caseworker had been in contact with a
child's father, the caseworker was still five times
less likely to know basic information about the
father than about the mother. And 20% of the fathers
whose identity and location were known by the child
welfare agencies from the opening of the case were
never even contacted.
"These policies are seriously
misguided. When a mother is deemed unfit to care for
her children, dad shouldn't be just one option out
of many. He should be first in line."
To read the complete column,
To write a Letter to the Editor
of the Boston Globe concerning
Giving fathers a chance (6/8/06), write to
Help for California Divorced Dads
The Divorced Fathers Network helps
dads in Los Angeles, the Bay Area
and Santa Cruz. Local chapters
sponsor free weekly co-parenting
classes, individual mentoring for
fathers and much more.
Help for Boston Dads
Boston family law attorney Nick
Palermo is a shared custody advocate
who believes that divorced dads are
parents, not visitors. The Law
Offices of Nicholas Palermo is a
dedicated and committed trial law
firm which has worked to make shared
custody for all fit parents the law
of the land.
LAW OFFICES OF NICHOLAS PALERMO
Dad Is Living the Nightmare Described in
Boston Globe Foster Care Column
After the Boston Globe
Giving fathers a chance (6/8/06) I received an
interesting letter from a father who said he is
"living the nightmare described in the column."
I can't give out many details,
but basically he got divorced, mom got custody of
his daughter, the mother was abusive and the state
(properly) took the girl away from the mother. After
that, however, the state has refused to let this
man's daughter come home to him. The girl adores her
dad and there's been no finding of unfitness against
the dad. However, the girl's caseworker keeps coming
up with vague reasons why it's somehow not in the
best interests of this child to be reunited with her
father. These include gems like "she isn't ready for
overnight visits yet." And dad has fought a long,
hard battle to convince the state that's it's in his
daughter's best interests to come live with him.
Meanwhile his little girl's childhood is slipping
The story is incredibly
infuriating. As I listened to the father refute the
various reasons the caseworker threw up to prevent
his daughter from coming home, I kept thinking
who cares what this social worker thinks? Unless
there's been a finding of unfitness, this girl
belongs with her father.
It's amazing the way these
petty demi-gods in social services think they have
the right to dictate terms to fit parents as to
what's best for their kids. The fate of this girl
and her father is in the hands of an inexperienced,
20-something crusader to whom the system gives way
too much power. What an outrage.
Tree House Solutions
Tree House Solutions, LLC is a
growing and evolving resource designed to
meet the emotional and informational needs
of parents who are going through divorce and
those already divorced. Tree House
activities are composed of live, real time
teleconferences on a weekly basis. These
sessions are conducted by two highly
experienced mental health practitioners,
versed in high conflict divorce. Drs. Bone
and Evans offer a wide spectrum of
suggestions and education regarding the
divorce process and co-parenting with
difficult former spouses.
The LaMusga Company
The LaMusga Company provides customized
solutions to assist individuals and business
owners in reaching their financial goals.
The LaMusga Company is committed to helping
you accomplish your long-term financial
More Hero Fathers
In my co-authored Father's Day 2005 column
Not the Era of the Deadbeat Dad but the Era of the
Hero Father (Ft. Worth Star-Telegram,
6/19/05) we put forth the concept of the "hero
father." Family law attorney Jeff Leving and I
"Fatherhood has changed dramatically in the era
of divorce and out of wedlock births, and much
attention has been paid to two unfortunate products
of this era--the absent father and the deadbeat dad.
However, there is another type of father this era
has produced, one which has received very little
attention--the hero father.
"According to the Children's Rights Council, a
Washington-based advocacy group, more than five
million American children each year have their
access to their noncustodial parents interfered with
or blocked by custodial parents. Behind that
statistic are legions of heroic divorced or
separated fathers who fight a long, hard but
generally unrecognized battle to remain a meaningful
part of the lives of the children who love them and
"Over the past several decades the love and
devotion of millions of fathers has been tested in
ways few in previous generations experienced. This
Father's Day, let's honor the hero father."
In past emails I've identified numerous "hero
John Brumbaugh and
Benoit Leroux. I'd like to add three more
inductees into the pantheon--Daniel Sims, Joe
Seldner and Vincent C.
We discussed Daniel Sims' heroics in
New Report: Foster Care System Disregards Fathers
(Boston Globe, 6/8/06), writing:
"...in one highly-publicized [child abuse] case,
seven year-old Kaili Warrington-Sims was starved
down to 29 pounds and imprisoned in a bedroom by her
mother and her mother's live-in boyfriend before
being rescued by her father, Daniel Sims. The couple
had spirited the girl around New York state and then
to Florida to deny Sims access. Sims struggled
through a maze of bureaucratic indifference and
hostility to get to his daughter. He arrived just in
time--the girl would have only lived a few more
weeks in her condition."
News reports of the crime noted that neighbors had
reported that little Kaili spent endless hours
looking out the window of the bedroom in which she
was imprisoned. No doubt the girl wondered why this
was being done to her, in what way she had been bad
and had caused it all, and why mom and that man she
lives with seemed to hate her so much. Probably she
wished that a hero would come from far away and
rescue her. Because of the fatal flaws and
anti-father bias of the current family law system,
her hero almost arrived too late.
Joe Seldner fought a long, hard and ultimately
successful for his children after being the victim
of false accusations and all the cruel insanity that
a vindictive woman and the family law system that
serves her can create. To learn more about
Vincent C. was the target of one of the most
vicious Parental Alienation cases I have ever seen.
I described his in my co-authored column
PBS Declares War on Dads (World Net Daily,
"A four year-old boy is jumping up and down with
"Dad gets out of the car.
"'Daddy's here! Daddy's here!'
"The boy is behind a locked screen door. He tries
to open it.
"'Daddy's here! Mommy, look, daddy's here!'
"Dad knows he shouldn't open the door. He waits
for his ex-wife to open the door. She doesn't do it.
"'This is my visitation time,' Dad says, waving a
"Mom still won't open the door.
"The boy jumps up and down, saying "daddy,
daddy." He yanks on the screen door handle but still
can't get it open.
"Dad looks at his little boy. He pauses, takes a
deep breath, and walks back to his car.
"The little boy doesn't understand. Why won't
daddy come? Why is daddy walking away from him?
"The little boy disappears inside the house.
"Dad calls the police. When the officers arrive
he shows them his court documents. The officers go
inside to investigate. They come out a few minutes
"'Your son says he doesn't want to see you,' the
officer says. 'There's nothing I can do. You'll have
to deal with it in the court. I can't make him go
with you if he doesn't want to.'
"Dad finally gets to see his kids three months
later. The children spit on both him and their
grandmother. Almost in unison they repeat 'I don't
want to be here. I want to go home with mommy, I
don't want to be here. I want to go home with mommy,
I don't want to be here. I want to go home with
Vincent C. spent over $500,000 on his custody
case. However, after years of battles and a ton of
heartache, the courts finally decided to take action
against the mother and her Parental Alienation
tactics against the father. Vincent got justice,
winning sole custody of his three children last
Remarkably, though Vincent would have been
legally able (and morally justified) in cutting the
mother completely out of the children's lives, he
instead turned around and offered her the same 50-50
shared custody that he should have had as a matter
of course right from the beginning. Ghandi could not
have been more gracious and forgiving.
We had Vincent over to the house a couple months
ago and his children were very happy, and very
attached to dad. In fact, the same girl who had been
programmed by mom to lead the three children in
hating their dad spent much of the evening hugging
Vincent or sitting on his lap.
I'm Sure This is Men's Fault, Too--Give Me a
Minute to Think and I'll Figure Out How
When trying to justify our current family law
system, many misguided feminists often claim that
physical and/or emotional is the driving force
behind most divorces. For example, when I debated
feminist family law attorney Cecile Weich on the
Alan Colmes Show a few years ago, she asserted
that if there's divorce, it's probably because there
was abuse in the marriage. As I've noted many times,
feminist opposition to shared parenting always
employs the bogeyman of the abusive husband. Now
interesting news from Sweden:
"According to new figures from Statistics Sweden,
lesbians who enter into a formal partnership here
are more likely to break up than gay men.
"On the whole, homosexual couples here divorce more
often than heterosexual. According to Statistics
Sweden, after 5 years, 30 percent of homosexual
women couples have divorced, compared to 20 percent
of men in same sex partnerships. Among heterosexual
couples the figure is around 13 percent.
"Since the new partnership law was introduced here
11 years ago, only one half of one percent of new
marriages have been same sex couples. Last year
there were 3,300 homosexual men and women living in
registered partnerships in Sweden."
The article chooses to highlight the fact that
lesbians divorce more than gay men. This is indeed
interesting. Even more significant, however, is the
fact that Swedish lesbian marriages apparently
break up more than twice as often as straight
marriages do. Can we logically assume then that
relationship discord is not the creation of those
nasty men, but instead something endemic to all
humans, regardless of gender? That when a couple
splits up they should both be treated equally by the
family courts, because there's no reason to assume
that one is any more at fault than the other?
BTW, there is one prominent feminist who does
talk sense on this issue. Martha Burk, who appeared
His Side with Glenn Sacks last year, once
"With close to half of all marriages ending in
divorce, it's impossible to believe that the
majority of divorcing fathers are violent, and it
would be wrong to base public policy on the notion
that they are."
My Daughter Did Something Cute--Feel Free to Ignore
The boy who grew up across the street went off to
Navy boot camp recently and we heard that he was
struggling a bit. So my little daughter, who the boy
always liked and enjoyed playing with, wrote him a
letter to try to cheer him up. The letter is
Glenn Discusses Boy Crisis in Education on
Upfront with Vicki McKenna
I discussed the
Boy Crisis in education on
Upfront with Vicki McKenna on News/Talk
1310 WIBA in Madison,
Wisconsin on June 6.
Has Your Career Been Impacted by
After empowering people's careers
for over 20 year, I was duly
initiated into family law just like
you--through a 30 month, $520,000
custody suit. I learned that a
solid home-based business could be
the best option, allowing one to
shake the financial shackles while
still experiencing a "no limits"
career. More than ever, our kids
now need a free and available
parent. Be there for them... and
for yourself. Darrell W. Gurney,
This Police Officer Enforced Visitation
Getting visitation orders enforced is often very
difficult for fathers. As the ACFC's Mike McCormick
and I explained in our co-authored column
'Roe v. Wade for Men' Case Illustrates Family Law
System's Inequities (Daytona Beach
"Fathers who want to share in parenting their
children face many obstacles. In a study conducted
by Arizona State University psychology professor
Sanford Braver and published in the American
Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 40% of divorced
mothers admitted that they had interfered with their
ex-husband's access or visitation, and that their
motives were punitive in nature and not due to
safety considerations. A study of adult children of
divorce conducted by Glynnis Walker, author of
Solomon's Children: Exploding the Myths of Divorce,
found that 42% of children who lived solely with
their mothers reported that their mothers had tried
to prevent them from seeing their fathers after the
"Despite this, state and federal governments spend
almost nothing on enforcing visitation and parenting
time. Fathers denied access to their kids are on
their own, and must wage long, costly legal battles
to remain a part of their children's lives. And
while prosecutions of fathers who violate child
support mandates are common, prosecutions of mothers
who violate visitation orders are almost
Robert A. Fink, M. D., President of California
Parents United, Inc., recently sent me some
interesting material this issue. Mike Ayers, an
Albany, California, police officer, recently passed
away at age 48 of malignant melanoma. In response
to the Contra Costa Times piece
Mike Ayers, Albany school police officer, dies at 48
(6/02/2006) Fink wrote:
"I wanted to share with you my experience with
Officer Ayers, some years ago, as an example of what
it means to be a fine police officer in today's
atmosphere of dwindling respect for the law.
"In 1994-97, I had the misfortune of going through a
contentious divorce from a spouse who was mentally
ill. Agreements for shared parenting of our
daughter were made and a court order was issued as
to the protocols for such, including timeshare of
the child and financial support.
"From the first day of the issuance of the final
court order, my former spouse used every opportunity
possible to deny me the time which was specified for
me to parent our daughter (we lived in adjoining
communities), and all appeals to my ex-spouse and/or
her attorney to abide by the order of the court fell
on deaf ears.
"In most jurisdictions, any attempt to enforce a
Family Court order is frustrated by the fact that
police agencies consider such issues as being 'civil
matters' and, in the case of individuals who
continually refuse to follow court orders of this
type, all that results is a situation of multiple
court appearances (costly), contempt filings, and,
usually, no further action other than the proverbial
'slap on the wrist.'
"As part of an organization, California Parents
United, Inc., to which I belong, I checked with
various police agencies in the East Bay, and found
that the vast majority (including El Cerrito,
Richmond, and Contra Costa Sheriff) will not enforce
court orders, even those issued by their own
"The Albany Police Department, however, based
upon guidelines issued by the Alameda County
District Attorney, has a policy of supporting the
valid orders of the courts; and I finally decided to
attempt such enforcement of the parenting order
which had been issued by the Family Court.
"On a day when I was scheduled to pick up our
daughter (then 10 years old) at her school (in
Albany), I arrived at the school only to find that
my ex-spouse had removed her from the classroom
before dismissal time (so as to avoid the issue of
my picking her up) and had taken our daughter to my
ex's residence (also in Albany). I drove to the
residence and asked that my daughter join me, and my
former spouse refused.
"I then called the Albany Police Department and
Officer Ayers met me across the street from my ex's
residence. He examined the court papers (which I
had brought with me) and then, after settling me
down in my car, approached my ex's residence and
asked that she release our daughter for her time
with me. Again, my ex refused to obey either the
court order or Officer Ayers' request. Officer Ayers
than requested 'backup' in the form of another
police officer and a social services worker and
again made his request of my ex-wife.
Again, she refused.
"Officer Ayers then informed her that if she did
not comply with the court order, he would place her
under arrest for a violation of a valid court order.
My ex promptly changed her mind and agreed to
release our daughter to me. This event was the last
time that my ex tried to obstruct court orders and,
over the subsequent years, there were no further
recurrences of this type of behavior.
"I was extremely impressed by the police work
which was done by Officer Ayers in this case. He
handled this matter with both efficiency and
dignity, and, in no way was he disrespectful to
anyone involved in a potentially highly conflicted
situation. He provided a basic 'lesson in civics'
to all concerned (including our daughter, who
remembers the incident vividly to this day); that
lesson being that legitimate court orders need to be
respected and followed; and that 'scofflaws' can be
"My daughter (the same one described above) is a
graduate of Albany High School. During the years
when I picked up and dropped off my daughter (I
eventually became her full-time parent) at AHS, I
frequently noted Officer Ayers and his engaging
smile, and it was obvious that he was thought of
very highly by the students and the rest of the AHS
community. Because of my experiences with this fine
police officer, I had a little extra reason to smile
"Mike Ayers will be missed by many."
Fink also offers some interesting observations on
the way visitation is enforced (or isn't enforced)
in California. He writes:
"Most jurisdictions (in California and elsewhere)
view a parent (usually a mother) who obstructs
timeshare/visitation orders as a person unworthy of
much effort. Most law enforcement people consider
this a 'civil matter' and refuse to enforce
legitimate court orders dealing with custody and
timeshare. At the same time, however, they will
promptly incarcerate parents (usually fathers) who
are behind in their court-ordered support payments.
"Most police departments are guided by the
position of the local District Attorney, and we have
been fortunate, in Alameda County, California, that
the D.A. apparently feels that Family Court orders
should be enforced in the same way as other court
orders. This, however is not true for the majority
of other counties here in the Bay Area, and I
suspect elsewhere in this State.
"I think that this inconsistency should be
brought to the public's attention, and that
political efforts should be made to influence the
election and/or retention of District Attorneys,
this based upon their philosophy and policies in
Legal Help for Fathers
If you live in Los Angeles, Riverside or
Orange counties and you're facing a divorce,
separation, or a child custody issue, the
law firm of Oddenino & Gaule can help.
Congressional Candidate Takes Strong Stand
for Noncustodial Parents' Rights
In 2004 Libertarian presidential candidate
Michael Badnarik had a strong noncustodial
platform. Badnarik is clearly aware of
and sensitive to the basic problems fathers
today face, particularly the sole custody
norm and the denigration of noncustodial
parents to "second class parent" status.
Badnarik is running for Congress in 2006--to
learn more, go to
White Supremacist Mother Wins Custody
From ABC in Fresno's
"Custody Battle Over White Separatist Twins":
"There was a bitter custody battle Friday in a
Valley courtroom with two young white supremacists
at the center of it all. The twins have gained
national attention for their hate-filled concerts."
The parents of the Gaede twins have been in a bitter
custody dispute. The girls' father thinks they are
being poisoned by their mother, a self-professed
"The battle over the twins came to a head Friday
inside a Fresno courtroom.
"The father of the girls admits he hasn't been
the best dad and wanted a second chance, but the
judge ruled the Gaede twins would remain in the
custody of their mother, the woman who manages their
career as a white separatist singing group.
"They've been billed as a
valuable recruiting tool for the white nationalist
"Lynxe and Lamb Gaede -- the 13-year-old twins
from Fresno County -- perform at white supremacist
gatherings around the country. Together, they are
called 'Prussian Blue' and are managed by their
mother, April Gaede.
"In 2002, she admitted being part of a local
group, 'The National Alliance' that distributed
racist leaflets in Fresno.
"'I'm a racist ... I believe there are
differences in races. Everybody's a racist. There
are two kinds of people. Those who deny being
racist, and then the honest folks,' said April
"She divorced the twins' father in 1997. The
divorce papers accuse him of domestic violence and
"But Kris Lingelser says he's a changed man, and
wants custody of the girls to teach them there's a
better way to live, 'I would hope that they could
see a white separatist attitude, where whites and
blacks and Mexicans and everybody needs to live in
their own separate universe is not healthy.'
"'It's not what this country is about, it's not
what I'm about. I would just hope that they could
see that,' said Lingelser.
"But the judge ruled their mom, April Gaede would
retain custody and could keep the girls at her new
home in Montana.
"Gaede wasn't talking to the media, but last year
she claimed to be raising her girls like any other
parent -- according to her beliefs.
"'All children are espouse their parents beliefs.
If we were Christians, they would maybe be singing
Christian rock songs. But we're not. We're white
nationalists and so of course, that's a part of our
life and I share that part of my life with my
children,' she said."
Hero Quietly Did The Right Thing
According to CBS'
Hero Quietly Did The Right Thing (5/30/06):
"Hiram Bingham IV was U.S. vice consul in
Marseilles, France, as Hitler began leaving his
imprint across Europe. Even though he wasn't
supposed to, he issued thousands of U.S. visas to
Jews, allowing them to escape.
"It wasn't good for his career.
"But Bingham knew what he thought was right. And he
did it. Quietly, but his actions nonetheless did not
"The visas issued without permission in 1940 got
Bingham bounced from his job in 1941 and derailed
what had been a promising career track in diplomacy
for Bingham, who came from a prominent family: a
father who was a senator and governor, a Tiffany
heiress mother, and a grandfather and
great-grandfather who were the first missionaries to
"CBS News correspondent Wyatt Andrews reports
Bingham said little about what he had done and his
own family did not realize the scope of things until
after his death in 1988, when they found the records
he'd kept -- hidden in the house.
"Bingham's heroism was recognized posthumously in
2002, and Tuesday,
a dream came true for his children as the U.S.
Postal Service unveiled a stamp in Bingham's honor.
"Elly Sherman, who was lined up with her family and
other Jews outside the U.S. consulate in Marseilles,
where they were saved by Bingham, doesn't need a
stamp to jog her memory.
"'My mother kept this document,' said Sherman,
pointing to the long-ago paperwork that allowed her
family to flee as the Nazis marched forward into
"Sherman's family, at the time the visas were
issued, had already received an order to report to a
concentration camp within two days.
"And it was those two days which were the last two
days that Hiram Bingham was still the vice consul in
Marseilles - handing out visas to people who were
not supposed to get them.
"They weren't supposed to because in 1940 it wasn't
American policy to use visas to rescue Jews in
danger because of the Nazis.
"In comments recorded by his granddaughter, Bingham
recalled being ordered to stop.
"'My boss,' Bingham recalled, 'said 'The Germans are
going to win the war. Why should we do anything to
"But Bingham kept writing visa after visa, saving
life after life. Among the many he saved were artist
Marc Chagall, philosopher Hannah Arendt -- and
hundreds of Elly Shermans.
"The lesson of that day, says Sherman, is one which
will continue to be passed on to the children and
grandchildren in her own family.
"'The story tells itself -- basically, one should
stand up to evil,' she says. 'When so many others
are working hard to kill you, one man can be strong
enough to do what is the right thing to do ... God,
it is so wonderful!'
"'It's also a reminder. Sometimes the most effective
acts of courage unfold in ways unseen.'"
File Taxes Online with Professional Help
MENstax.com allows you to file your
taxes, check your refund status, and have
your return reviewed by an experienced tax
Looking for a Home in the Bay Area?
Janet Attard utilizes current and timely
data to effectively sell your present
property and find the perfect home or estate
of your dreams. Janet knows the local real
estate market and can often find you the
special property or estate before it goes on
the market. She specializes in vineyard and
estate properties in Napa, Sonoma, Mendocino
and Lake counties. To learn more, click
here or contact Janet at
In the Spirit of Raoul Wallenberg...
Bingham's actions remind me of the heroic Swedish
diplomat Raoul Wallenberg, who used diplomacy,
bluffs, threats, maneuvers, bribes, and blackmail to
save the lives of tens of thousands of Jews in
Hungary in the last days of World War II. According
"During this time Eichmann [German
Adolf Eichmann who attempted to exterminate the
whole Jewish population in Budapest] started his
brutal 'death marches.' He went through with his
promised deportation plan by having large numbers of
Jews leave Hungary by foot. The first march started
November 20, 1944, and the conditions along the 200
kilometer long road between Budapest and the
Austrian border were so horrendous that even the
Nazis themselves complained.
"The marching Jews could be counted in the
thousands along never-ending rows of starving and
tortured people. Raoul Wallenberg was in place all
the time to hand out protective passes, food and
medicine. He threatened and he bribed until he
managed to free those with Swedish passes.
"When Eichmann's killers transported the Jews in
full trains, Wallenberg intensified his rescue
efforts. He even climbed the train wagons, stood on
the tracks, ran along the wagon roofs, and stuck
bunches of protective passes down to the people
inside. The German soldiers were ordered to open
fire, but were so impressed by Wallenberg's courage
that they deliberately aimed too high. Wallenberg
could jump down unharmed and demand that the Jews
with passes should leave the train together with
"Raoul Wallenberg's department at the Swedish
legation grew constantly and finally kept 340
persons busy. Another 700 people also lived in their
"Toward the end of 1944, Wallenberg moved over
the river Danube from Buda to Pest where the two
Jewish ghettos were situated. The minimal level of
law and order that once existed was now gone. The
Arrow Cross, police and German war machine shared
"Wallenberg searched desperately for suitable
people to bribe, and found a very powerful ally in
Pa'l Szalay, a high-ranking officer in the police
force and an Arrow Cross member. (After the war,
Szalay was the only Arrow Cross member that wasn't
executed. He was set free in recognition for his
cooperation with Wallenberg.)
"The second week of January 1945 Raoul Wallenberg
found out that Eichmann planned a total massacre in
ghetto. The only one who could stop it was
general August Schmidthuber who was
commander-in-chief for the German troops in Hungary.
"Wallenberg's ally Szalay was sent to deliver a
note to Schmidthuber explaining that Raoul
Wallenberg would make sure that the general would be
held personally responsible for the massacre and
that he would be hanged as a war criminal after the
war. The massacre was stopped at the last minute
thanks to Wallenberg's action.
"Two days later, the Russians arrived and found
97,000 Jews alive in Budapest's two Jewish ghettos.
In total 120,000 Jews survived the Nazi
extermination in Hungary.
Per Anger, Wallenberg's friend and colleague,
Wallenberg must be honored with saving at least
Subscribe to this E-Newsletter
Email this E-Newsletter to a Friend
Missed an E-Newsletter? Find all of Glenn's
To be removed from
our list, send an email to
email@example.com with the subject line