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More needed said about fathers’ roles
By Don Mathis
 
 
My letter http://www.herald-democrat.com/articles/2006/02/13/letters/letters05.txt regarding http://www.herald-democrat.com/articles/2006/02/09/life/life05.txt was published today in the Sherman (Texas) Herald-Democrat:
 
Thank you for publishing “Fathers play important role in children’s lives.” It is refreshing to see an article about the importance of fatherhood other than on Fathers Day. But more needs to be said.

“Research has demonstrated that children do better academically when their fathers are involved in their education,” Dr. Steve Green, Extension child development specialist, said.
 
Children whose fathers are actively involved in their daily lives are more likely to have healthy peer relationships and less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, live in poverty and need treatment for psychological illnesses, said Green.

That said, why would a “justice” system want to reduce a father’s influence to the first, third, and fifth weekend — 14 percent of a child’s life?

The concept of 50/50 shared parenting in custody cases would go a long way in increasing the well-being of our children, our future adults, and society in general. Productivity would go up — crime rates would go down.

How about it judges, legislators? Can we give equal custody a try? Our children are worth it!
 
 
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COLLEGE STATION — Does the American father act more like Ward Cleaver or Homer Simpson? Neither, said a Texas Cooperative Extension expert.

“The media often portrays fathers in a very negative light — as irresponsible, ineffective and naive,” said Dr. Steve Green, Extension child development specialist.
 
Even though real family life is not a television show, the way fathers are portrayed in popular culture does provide an image of family roles, said Green. For example, Ward Cleaver in the “Leave It To Beaver” series from decades ago is the head of a perfect family. This shows portrayal of dad as the slightly distant and formal dispenser of wisdom may be unrealistic, Green said, but so is the image of dad as a buffoon, such as shown in “The Simpsons.”

In reality, said Green, most families and the father’s role inside those families are more complex than shown in situation comedies. Fathers’ roles cover a broad range of duties that have shifted somewhat over the years, Green said. He offered some general ‘snapshots’ of American family dynamics through the centuries, as suggested by researcher R.L. Griswold (Generative Fathering: A Historical Perspective from the book, “Generative Fathering: Beyond Deficit Perspectives”):

*18th century: Fathers were family breadwinners as well as vocational and religious instructors for their children. Many families lived and worked on farms, spending most or all of their time working together. Family members often worked as a unit toward the same goals, for the benefit of all. This kind of family structure could promote closeness among members.

* 19th century: With the Industrial Revolution, urban populations grew and more fathers began commuting to work in factories rather than on farms. With fathers working away from home, mothers were more often entrusted with the job of molding their children’s character.
 
* 20th century: Suburbia and more women workers led to a more child-centered family. As women entered the workforce in record numbers, the family roles of both parents began to change. More mothers began contributing to their family’s income and more fathers began contributing to their family’s domestic duties and child care. Especially in the last few decades, Green said, fathers have “had more opportunity to spend time with their children on day-to-day activities.”

Now, at the beginning of the 21st century, “We expect for fathers to take a more active role in the care of children because it’s become more common (for both parents) to share the breadwinner and domestic chores,” said Green.

How those duties are divided is up to the individual families, Green said. “Every family has to negotiate and balance.”

The biggest beneficiaries to all this shifting and changing are the children, said Green.

“Research has demonstrated that children do better academically when their fathers are involved in their education,” Green said.

But that’s not all. Children whose fathers are actively involved in their daily lives are more likely to have healthy peer relationships and less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, live in poverty and need treatment for psychological illnesses, said Green. Actively involved fathers might spend some time each day playing with their children or volunteering to coach a team. They might help their kids with homework or do yard work together or read to them every day.

“Eat meals together as a family,” Green said. “And show respect for their mother. Children who grow up with an actively involved father do better than children who do not have an actively involved father.”

And that includes children who do not live with their fathers.

“The involvement of non-custodial parents is still important,” Green said. “The parents need to set aside their differences and put the needs of their children first.”

Fathers who do not live with their children can still be a part of their lives.

“Make the effort to spend regular time with the children,” Green said. “If you can’t be with them face to face, e-mail them or call them on the phone or send them a letter. That’s still meaningful to a child; you can still build a better relationship between father and child.”

A lot of fathers serving in the military away from home are keeping contact with their achildren through telephone calls, e-mail and taped messages, Green said.

The role of fathers in the American family may have changed over the centuries, but the importance of that role has not, Green said.

For more information, visit Extension’s Family and Consumer Sciences Web site at http://fcs.tamu.edu/ and click on the link to “Families.”